15 Ways Intelligent People Deal With Difficult and Toxic People

15 Effective Ways To Deal With Difficult and
Toxic People Dealing with toxic people is something we
all have to confront in our lives at one point or another. Narcissists, compulsive liars, sociopaths,
manipulators, gossipers, and those wallowing in self-pity are just a few examples of toxic
people. Toxic people always find a way of worming
their way into people’s lives, and creating drama and anarchy in order to manipulate a
social circle to suit their needs. Often they will apply a ‘divide and conquer’
strategy, in which they sow the seeds of instability, in order to make themselves seem essential
to a social group. The actions of toxic people usually stems
from an innate insecurity that compels them to drag people around them into their vacuous
hole of insecurity and instability; not only can toxic people ruin your life and hinder
your progress, but they can put you at risk of dragging you down to their level and turning
you into a toxic person as well. Luckily, there are a number of ways to avoid
letting toxic people rule your life, employed by clever people who have usually dealt with
toxic people in the past. 1. Do not trust or share secrets with gossipers Toxic people will share deep secrets with
people just to seem momentarily interesting and they will frequently judge or gossip about
people behind their backs. If you meet somebody who does this, do not
be fooled into thinking that they are gossiping with you because they like you or trust you. They will just as easily betray your trust. Toxic people will often talk behind somebody’s
back to you in the hopes that they will agree with them. They will then go and tell the other person
what you said. This creates friction between two people,
leaving the toxic person in the middle holding all the cards. It’s a divisive and manipulative method
of gaining friends or power in a social group. Do not take the bait. 2. Ignore attention seekers Often toxic people compulsively seek attention
at all costs. Even if it’s somebody’s birthday, toxic
people will always find a way of making everything about them. It usually begins with small actions, interrupting
people or talking over them, being unnecessarily loud or obnoxious, or acting out. Usually, if they do not get the attention
they crave, their actions become more drastic,starting arguments, throwing a tantrum or acting destructively. Good social cohesion relies on everybody getting
their chance to talk, joke and have fun. A social circle should never revolve around
one person. If this is the case, the best course of action
is to pay little or no attention to that person, and instead spend more time with the quieter
and more reserved members of the group. 3. Avoid manipulative people Manipulative people will ruin your life. They will callously manipulate your feelings
in order to make you act in a certain way to further their goals. Compulsively manipulative people often have
few redeemable qualities, so it is worth avoiding them altogether. In order to avoid them however, you must first
recognize the signs of a manipulative person. Do you find yourself constantly feeling strong
or unstable emotions when they are around; anger, irritation, sadness, or inadequacy? Do you often question why they might have
said something? Do you get the suspicion that you’re being
deceived? If so, it is likely that the person is trying
to toy with your emotions, and are best avoided. 4. Spend a lot of time with trustworthy and loyal
friends In contrast to the point made previously,
clever people will develop a strong support network of loyal and trustworthy people. They know that they do not have to be everybody’s
friend, and not everybody is deserving of their friendship. In turn, they reward their friends loyalty
and trust by showing that it works both ways. Clever people know that true friendship and
fidelity is one of the rarest and most valuable commodities you will ever have in life, and
they will not allow this to be corrupted by toxic, negative and untrustworthy people. 5. Stand up to bullies This is perhaps the most important way of
handling a toxic person. Standing up to bullying wherever you see it. Most decent people will help the helpless,
defend the vulnerable and assist those who need it. Toxic people prey on anybody they consider
to be weak. It could be somebody whose a little shy, socially
awkward, or even somebody who lacks physical prowess. Toxic people will bully and take advantage
of anybody who they think won’t stand up to them, which is why it’s so important
to stand up to toxic people, not just for yourself, but for others around you. 6. Allow liars to trip themselves up Toxic people will often lie compulsively,
not just to others, but to themselves. They will often perform mental gymnastics
to convince themselves that their lies are reality. Unfortunately, lies are actually very hard
to keep up. Recounting a true event is relatively easy,
but keeping track of a bunch of made up stories is difficult. Liars end up exposing themselves over time,
by contradicting themselves with other lies. 7. Do not get involved in petty feuds and drama Most people like to keep arguments solely
in the realms of themselves, and whoever they are arguing with. Toxic people aren’t like that, they love
to air their dirty laundry in public, and when an argument breaks out, they want everybody
to pick a side. It doesn’t matter if you’re involved or
not, it barely matters if you even know the two people involved, a toxic person will not
allow you to remain neutral. Often fights between one or more toxic people
can be cataclysmic, and it’s the innocent bystanders caught in the cross fire that will
suffer the most. There are six words that will save you from
being sucked into the storm in a teacup that comes when toxic people argue; “It’s nothing
to do with me”. 8. Ignore insults Insults come in many forms, but the most cleverly-disguised
insults are actually disguised as compliments. “I’d never have the confidence to wear
that.” “You’re so funny, and you don’t even
realize it!” “You’re such a nice person.” These are just a few thinly veiled insults
that will leave you wondering what they actually meant, which in turn leaves you seeking approval,
and finally your emotions will get affected. 9. Do not indulge self-pitying people Toxic people will often put on a mask of helplessness
in order to trick and manipulate people, or emancipate themselves from responsibility. You’ll often hear a toxic person saying
that they can’t pay you back because they can’t find a job, and they can’t find
a job because they haven’t got any qualifications, and they haven’t got any qualifications
because their teachers mistreated them at school, and so on. There is always a reason for their failure
which is out of their hands, and it is always up to you to sort it out. And if you don’t, well, then you’re just
the same as everybody else whose mistreated them throughout the terrible ordeal that is
their life. Some level of self-pity is totally healthy,
after a nasty breakup, a death in the family or something similar, but there is always
a point where you have to grow up and accept responsibility for your own destiny, because
it’s nobody else’s job but yours. Self-pitying people live in a vacuous maelstrom
of misery, and make absolutely no effort to effect any change in their lives. Avoiding self-pitying people and refusing
to justify their apathy is not only good for them, but will stop you from being sucked
into their depressing world of self-perpetuating failure. 10. Do not indulge narcissists Narcissists love themselves. Or perhaps more accurately, they love the
idea of themselves. They are often so deluded in their own favor
that they genuinely lose touch with reality. Narcissists will often fish for compliments,
often by pretending that they do not feel so highly about themselves. They will often take numerous pictures of
themselves and constantly seek comment on them. The best way to deal with a narcissist is
to simply ignore their insatiable appetite for gratification. You do not have to criticize them or try to
make them feel bad, but by simply ignoring them, you will help to remind them that we
are all human, and our lives are all equally meaningful. 11. Demand straight answers to their questions Toxic people will often go out of their way
to give arbitrary, vague, non-committal or misleading answers to questions. Just ask anybody whose ever been involved
in the criminal justice system. The lengths a toxic person will go to avoid
giving a satisfactory answer are incredible. This is done not just to withhold information,
but also to prevent anybody from telling them they’ve backtracked later. The trick to getting around this is to present
them with only closed questions, that is, a question with a yes or no answer. This will force them to make their intentions
clear, and prevent them from playing mind games with you or others. 12. Tell them when they are at fault Toxic people will do almost anything to absolve
themselves from blame. Even if they are clearly at fault, they will
justify their actions by bringing up something somebody else has done. Handling toxic people cleverly means telling
them they are at fault, and refusing to accept their excuses. This can be difficult to do when they are
being evasive, but ultimately it will help them to grow. 13. Don’t be flattered over false kindness There is an old African saying “Beware of
a naked man who offers you a shirt.” Effectively, it means that you cannot accept
something from somebody who is in no position to give it. Namely, compliments and gestures of love. Toxic people will often try to win over certain
people by showering them with compliments. This is often done because they want something
from you, or you present some kind of a threat to them. You may notice that they are not nearly so
complimentary of others around them, perhaps they are rude to customer service staff or
abrasive towards strangers. Do not be fooled into believing that this
person genuinely likes you, or that they are actually a nice person. They are just trying to get something from
you. 14. Have control of your own emotions Toxic people will try to manipulate people’s
emotions to engineer a social group to suit their needs. In order to avoid this, clever people make
sure that they are aware of the emotions they are feeling, and the root causes of why they
are feeling them, in order to ensure that they are the only person in control of them. This is easier said than done. Controlling one’s emotions takes years of
mental discipline, so for the majority of us, it is better to avoid situations that
may cause us to act irrationally, or feel emotionally unstable. For example, an argument or discussion which
flares your emotions may be best carried out through written rather than spoken word. This gives you a chance to properly process
what is being said, and provide a coherent and controlled reply, rather than an emotional
outburst. 15. Focus on solutions, not problems Toxic people are often the first to place
blame when something goes wrong. They do this to emancipate themselves from
having to make any effort to right the wrong. It’s very easy to hate stuff and to blame
people, but it’s much harder to make it change. Clever people will circumvent the power of
a toxic person by looking for a solution to a problem, rather than just focusing on the
guilty party. They will help to put something right, whether
they had any part in it or not. This shows that they are compassionate, protective
and loyal, and on a long enough timescale, this will always beat toxic people. Blaming somebody for a problem shows that
you are afraid of confronting it; helping to resolve a problem shows real leadership. Well, that’s the 15 effective ways to deal
with difficult and toxic people. Really cool information isn’t it? Please do share your thoughts and experiences
in the comments below! Don’t forget to give us account subs and watch
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