Ship Computer: Intruders detected. C-Deck Corridor 5, bulkhead breach in progress. Good Luck! Cain: Okay, this is it Brock! Are you ready? Brock: Hell yeah! But….uhhhh What if they come through another door? Cain: [Sighs] You’re joking, right? Brock: Well, I mean…
You’re joking, right? Brock: Well, I mean… What if they just want us to think That they’re gonna break through this door But they go use another one instead. Cain: Brock, command just told us
But they go use another one instead. Cain: Brock, command just told us they were coming through this door… Brock: Yeah, well, what if they’re wrong? Or lyyyying? Cain: [Frustrated] Are you serious?! [Sighs] Yeah….yeah you are. Okay Brock, why? Why would command lie to us? Brock: I don’t know! Maybe they’re working with the pirates! Cain: But they’re our command! Brock: That’s what they’d want you to think if they were pirates Cain: Okay Brock, listen to me… and listen to me real good. Command are not pirates. They’re not against us. And they did not intentionally lose your laundry last Thursday. They definitely didn’t try to assassinate you by planting a bone in your soup last night. Now please; We’re about to be attacked..if we could focus on that door there for just like…one single minute. Brock: Okay, but it goes past that. Doesn’t it Cain?
[Cutting Torch Starts] Think about it, and add
[Cutting Torch Starts] everything together, first there’s the crew. Look at us! The cooks poisoned half of us with Salmonella the other day. And then remember when someone accidentally
[Torch Continues] turned off the barriers on the flight deck and Jake and Trevor were blown into space?!
[Torch Intensifies] It’s madness I say!
[Torch Intensifies] Cain: Brock, listen to yourself. It’s like saying the guy that puts itching powder in your underwear is out to get you. It’s just a prank. They’re all coincidences, with some bad luck.
[Torch Continues] Brock: But, I mean, what about that
[Torch Continues] time the shipment of avocados fell
[Torch Continues] over Jerry…faulty storage equipment my ass… Or! What about when those stock rifles blew up in the faces of those two grunts? Second rate ammunition? I’m starting to see a pattern here. Cain: Okay fine! Brock, even if you have a point we’re gonna get blasted if they come
[Torch Stops] through that door and we aren’t ready!
[Torch Stops] [Explosion]
[Machine gun fire] Brock: Ugh!
Cain: [Grunts] Marine 1: Hostiles down! Sweep the corridor! Keep low!
Marine 2: Roger! Marine 3: Roger! Marine 4: Stop saying my name! Marines 1,2,3: Shut up Roger! Ship Computer: Simulation Terminated! Pirates Win…again. Marine: Awwww, look at the babies taking a nap. Cain: Brock, I should have you spaced for this… Brock: Yeah, if command doesn’t do it first… Supervisor: Bulkheads! Are you two sleeping on the job again?! You two had shields…and you didn’t even manage to get one single shot off at the enemy?! What are you gonna do when a pirate or the Vanduul attack? No, wait! I know what you’re gonna do…you’ll die…because you’re useless! Cain & Brock: [Sigh] Pirate 1: Heh Heh, That there now… That’s what we call a nice haul! Pirate 2: [Laughing] Good joke mate! Really though, what’s our target? Pirate 1: Did I sound like I was joking? Pirate 2: You thick mate? It’s a bloody BENGAL! A U.E.E. controlled Bengal at that! I signed on this crew to make money! Not go on a suicide mission! Pirate 1: Alright, you’re new, so I’m gonna forget you said any of that! Listen kid; That there is the Imperitiam. Worst crew in the entire U.E.E. We could attack that whale in an Aurora..with one rocket! No guns! And an on
in an Aurora..with one rocket! No guns! And an on fire power-plant and we’d probably come out on top! Trust me! They’re harmless.
[Door Opens] Pirate Leader: Enough chatter gentlemen! It’s time to man the turrets! Arm the torpedoes, warm up the shields, stoke the fire, and put on the kettle! We’ve got some marines to kill! And we better get it done before the tea gets cold!