This job… The living conditions are appalling! I believe I wore it better. Yeah, but no one could understand
what you were saying, dude. You have my permission to…. not be so critical! New York. Washington D.C. Ooh. My bad. Sokovia. Da. Not even fictitious cities are safe! Ok. That’s enough. Kuala Lumpur. You haven’t been there yet, but I guess it’s only a matter of time
before it too is a pile of rubble. – Da!
– I said, that’s enough! – What are you gonna demolish next? Paris?
– Come on! Shanghai? Sydney? Compton? You realise we’re not the ones
destroying the cities, right? We’re the ones saving people
from the destruction. Why can’t you people just let supers be super?! People are afraid. Aaah! That’s why I’m here. But why is this here? Why need to be put in check. – I am in check.
– No, I mean… What the hell are you wearing? When I see a situation pointed south, I’m
like, “hey, point the other way, situation. This is North America.” Sometimes I want to punch
you in your perfect– Stop! We did this in the first trailer
and you punched me in the face. So you can’t do that again. OOH!! My perfect teeth! [GASP] Bucky, you are so lucky I was wearing this– AAAHH! Oh! That’s gonna leave a mark. RHODES! The nearest roads are Park Avenue… Oh, shut up F.R.I.D.A.Y! God I miss Jarvis. Oscar-winning actor Leonardo Dicaprio? Wow, they really are white-washing. What, you don’t get it? I’m “The Man in the Iron Mask”! (MUFFLED) NO! NOOOOO! They’re coming for you. I’m not the one that needs to watch their back. I’m the one that needs to watch their front. – Do you mind?
– OH! Ummm… That’s wasn’t me. That was the suit. You’re not wearing the suit. Yeeeeeeah. You’re pathetic. Yeah. Ooh-oh. This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Tony. What are you kidding? It’s a Marvel movie. Cheap shot! You just started a w– RRRMMMMM!! MY… LIIIIIIIIPS!! Peakaboo! Whoa! I’m outta here. Bulletproof, baby! Only curiosity can kill me. Hmm. I wonder why that is– [DIES] So this is what happens when you
don’t switch off all electronic devices. Da, Vision! I will marry you. This proposal is coerced. Yippy-ki-yahoooooo! And they said you were a waste of money. Stay down. Final warning. I can do this all day. Well, seventeen seconds is close to a full day. Huh. Guess we had the numbers. Huzzah! Alright, I’ve run out of patience. Underage! – Yoink!
– Hey! – Oop – fly’s undone. Flat tire! Wedgy.
– Ah, god–! Son of a–! DYAAA!! – Wet willie. Nice beard!
– Mother– You little…! – Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself.
– D’oh! Ahhr, so annoying! It’s a webbing dress! Wassup y’all? Spider-Man 3.0. Now with robotic eye-squinters! Pretty pimp, huh? They allow me to see…
much less. Wait a second. That’s not a good thing.
Why the hell did I install– HOLY CRUD! WHERE THE HECK AM I??? [TONY STARK]
Ahem. Now before we start senselessly
beating each other to death, this is the last chance for anyone who wishes to
drop their shield and run home to their mummy. [CAPTAIN AMERICA]
OK, I feel like that was aimed at me. [ANT-MAN]
Hey, Ant-Man does not shrink from a fight. Or do I?
[SHRINK NOISE] [CHIPMUNK VOICE]
I’m running away at a hundred millimetres an hour! [BLACK WIDOW]
I don’t know if we should fight. I mean think about
how awkward its gonna be tomorrow. Hawkeye, am I still babysitting your kids on Saturday? [HAWKEYE]
Oh, it’s “Hawkeye” now, is it? It used to be Clint.
And before that, “Coco Bear.” And yeah, playdate’s cancelled, cos my kids have declared war on you too, “Black Widow”. [BLACK WIDOW]
Oh, it’s “Black Widow” now, is it?
It used to be Ginger Jezebel. [SCARLET WITCH]
That was one of the names I was considering. “Crimson Crone”… “Ruby Shrew”… “Cherry Enchanter”… “Scarlet Witch” had the best ring to it. [BLACK WIDOW]
Yeah. Scarlett’s an awesome first name. [WAR MACHINE]
That’s why I went back to “War Machine”. “Iron Patriot”? Yeesh. [BUCKY]
Well I wanted to be “Ice Man” but an X-man already had
that name so I got saddled with “Winter Solider”. I sound like a designer collection. [VISION]
I don’t much like the name “Vision”. It overlooks my 73 other senses. [FALCON]
Yeah I was originally going with the name “Quail”. Soon as I switched to “Falcon” though,
girls started giving me their real numbers. [BLACK PANTHER]
Well then I have the best name! Back home in my native Wakanda,
I am known as Black Pussy! It sounds much cooler in Wakandese.