Civil Protection: Morning Patrol

Civil Protection: Morning Patrol


[Subtitles by danielsangeo] DAVE: All right, if you were a superhero,
what super power would you want? MIKE: Oh, I don’t know. DAVE: Oh, c’mon. Pick something. MIKE: Okay. How about being rich? DAVE: That’s not a super power. MIKE: It may as well be. Do you realize we’ll be working this job
another 30-years before we can retire? And that’s maybe. Most cops didn’t have to deal
with that before the invasion. They were out in twenty. DAVE: It’s not a super power. MIKE: What about Batman?
That’s his super power. He’s rich! You can afford to spend all
night running around in a cape and throwing ninja stars at
people when you’re rich. DAVE: They’re–
MIKE: Because he doesn’t have to get up and go to work in the morning
like the rest of us. DAVE: They’re not–
MIKE: Superman has to get up and go to work. Spiderman has to get up and go to work. Not Batman. He can sleep in
and he has a butler. DAVE: They’re not ninja stars;
they’re batarangs! MIKE: WHATEVER! DAVE: Just pick something else. MIKE: All right, fine. Let’s see… Oh, okay, how about being able
to knock people out with a guitar solo? That’d be boss. [air guitar] DAVE: That’s right, I forgot.
You’re a metal head. MIKE: You are just a lost soul
who does not know Slayer. DAVE: I’ve heard Slayer before. MIKE: So you say. DAVE: Well, I admit that’s one
of the better answers I’ve heard. MIKE: You’ve been asking
other people this? DAVE: Yeah, everyone. The best
answer so far has been from Hansen. MIKE: Hansen? I can’t even
imagine what he said. DAVE: He wanted to be able to
grow weed for hair. MIKE: Ha ha ha ha. Well, that
does sound like him. So, what would your super power be? DAVE: Easy. Mind control. MIKE: Mind control? DAVE: Yeah, but GOOD mind control. Like I’d want to be able to control
everybody in the city at least. None of this half-assed make-eye-contact
only-one-person-at-a-time crap. MIKE: Wait, would you control me? DAVE: Oh, definitely. No question. MIKE: Dave, I think you’re the reason some
people sleep with a gun under their pillow. DAVE: [cutting sound] MIKE: Ah, the doughnut shop. ♫ ♪ MIKE: Ha. Hey, let’s go grab a doughnut. DAVE: Oh, I couldn’t. I already
had seven before I came to work. MIKE: Oh. DAVE: Hey, I’ve got an idea. Our
patrol loops back soon anyway. Why don’t you just meet me back
on Palmer? It’s only half a block from here. By the time I get there, you
should be done with your doughnut. MIKE: Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.
Let’s do that that. Divide and conquer. See you in a bit. ♫ ♪ MIKE: Ah. I love doughnuts. ♫ ♪ MIKE: Hey, Dave, are you ready? What are you doing? DAVE: Who’s a good freaky
little bug thing? MIKE: Dave! DAVE: Yes, you are! MIKE: Aw, jeez. Dave, get back! Those things are dangerous! DAVE: He’s not dangerous. Look
at him. He’s just looking for a friend. MIKE: Dave, I’m not joking! I’ve seen
these things before! They’re bad news! Now get out of the way! DAVE: Why? MIKE: SO I CAN SHOOT IT! DAVE: No, I’m not going to let
it shoot him! MIKE: DAMMIT, DAVE! YOU DON’T
UNDERSTAND! GET OUT OF THE WAY! [houndeye growls] [houndeye charges]
DAVE: Aw, look, now you’ve gone and scared him. [sonic boom] [car alarms sound] [houndeye chirrups, car alarms sound] DAVE: I’m okay! I landed on the roof! Not sure how I’m going to get down, though. MIKE: Dave, next time, I’m just
going to shoot you instead. DAVE: What? MIKE: [groans] [houndeye chirrups] [houndeye charges]
MIKE: Oh, no! Not again!

Comments

  1. Post
    Author
    RoboticKnight PU-001

    this is how Mike was saved by the houndeye, (as the houndeye got closer to Mike it was the end of him) Mike:(trying to get his gun)Oh no not again! (but the houndeye was too fast for Mike and ready for it's scream attack but then too gun shots comes from the right) bang bang Mike:what the fuck?! (as he look at the houndeye, it was dead, Mike look to his right and see that save him was Overwatch Bravo2(from "The Tunnel" and if you see my comment story there the timeline is different)plus not happy to see them again) Sam:well Mike and Dave are at it again i see? Mike:two words "Fuck You" Sam:(triggered)you know what we should let you die by that houndeye instead you dipshit! Elite:Sam knock it off and pick up the alien! Sam:yes sir, wait why i'm the one to do it?! Elite:thats an order Sam or deranking for you. Sam:fine, John and Mary your helping. (as Elite comes over to help Mike) Elite:need a hand? Mike:(getting up by himself)i can get myself up you know! Elite:just helping. Mike:what ever. (as Dave comes over, Mike and Dave see the houndeye being put in the APC) Mike:so where this things going? Elite:back to base, you and Dave clear the road so the damage can be repair. Mike:yay yay what ever. (as Overwatch Bravo2 where going to leave Elite tells Mike one more thing) Elite:Mike. Mike:what is it? Elite:keep the good work out there ok, see you guys later. (then they left) Dave:i think he like you. Mike:Dave i'll blow you head off by this gun! (in side the APC the Elite take off the helmet, she(and yes its a women)look at the window and see Mike and Dave going somewhere else) John:sir why are you always looking out for Mike all the time? Sam:don't tell me you fall for him? (there was silents and then)Mary:omg, you have feelings for Mike?! Elite:what can you say, Mike is stong, he takes orders, and he's brave, always looking down at the enemies and never back down. Sam:you know Mike and his friend are one of the top losers in this world you know! Elite:loser or not Mike and Dave did find the Tunnel of Itchsouars and if Mike and Dave were not there the Itchsouars will swarm the city and the people will become food for the Itchsouars, you get it know sam? Sam:fine fine i get it sir. Elite:plus Mike he's one of a kind of man you want to have. Mary:i think i'm going to be sick.) well thats how Mike was saved. 😉

  2. Post
    Author
    Austin Melendez

    Dave is such a good friend. Not serious, but still has your back when you want donuts. We all need a Dave in our life.

  3. Post
    Author
  4. Post
    Author
  5. Post
    Author
    David Strife

    So through this series and the first hour and a half of Half Life 2, I think I might be able to make a comprehensive map of city 17. Not a canon map, a map that makes sense and is the size of a city.

  6. Post
    Author
  7. Post
    Author
    Captain Cirno

    Donut shop:a place where combine and civillains doesn't fight and "donut" make a riot or else it'll be more worse

  8. Post
    Author
  9. Post
    Author
  10. Post
    Author
  11. Post
    Author
    Darkon Ookami

    I love how the previous episode was about how everything was renewable energy and there weren't anymore fossile fuels, but they have gas cars driving around in the video.

  12. Post
    Author
  13. Post
    Author
    Cousin Anatoli

    You could check out Entropy Zero on steam. You play as a Civil Protection officer. It’s a mod but it was in my opinion a really good one.

  14. Post
    Author
    Rice Patty

    When mike said “I seen those things before!!” That was a reference to Freeman’s mind, cause the person who voices Mike also voices Gordon

  15. Post
    Author
  16. Post
    Author
    FULLMETALSTATE

    Id love a tv series like this. Some kind of alternate world run by military police revolving around two mps and weird shit they get into. Suppose thats kinda what Bright is but i want more sci fi themed.

  17. Post
    Author
    Random Slav

    This looks like it has so much effort put into it! Great work! I wish I could make something as good as this lol.

  18. Post
    Author
  19. Post
    Author
    Panzer Man

    Some of the comedy in this series has aged a bit poorly, but I'll be damned if this isn't some of the best stuff to come out of the Half Life games. Too bad it died at around the same time as my hopes for Half Life 3.

  20. Post
    Author
    Mudlink

    honestly, I bet the uprising only worked just because probably most overwatch soldiers and metropolice was at that donut shop

  21. Post
    Author
  22. Post
    Author
  23. Post
    Author
  24. Post
    Author
  25. Post
    Author
  26. Post
    Author
    GB

    These videos have aged beautifully. I especially love that motion blur effect in these videos. It's like he recorded it at a slower game speed at 60 fps and sped the video up.

    Also houndeyes make good guard dogs.

  27. Post
    Author
    Onio Saiyan

    sees this video and thinks, man. This is almost precisely the same conversation I had a couple nights ago with my friend.

  28. Post
    Author
  29. Post
    Author
  30. Post
    Author
  31. Post
    Author
  32. Post
    Author
  33. Post
    Author
  34. Post
    Author
    Boromir Smith

    Only now do I realize all the nice detail in the background and the surroundings. It's a really comfy setting.

  35. Post
    Author
    FlameFroster39 Is The new/old Channel on Youtube

    3:52 gets flashback to black mesa with the houndeye trying to kill him

  36. Post
    Author
    Blender Artist: BirdieBronze

    That donut shop intro was every gmod sfm ever. but i know this isn't sfm which makes it funnier.

  37. Post
    Author
  38. Post
    Author
  39. Post
    Author
  40. Post
    Author
  41. Post
    Author
  42. Post
    Author
    Pike Johnson

    Man. The donut shop is a nexus for civil protection and citizens alike. Even some overwatch soldiers came there with a Hunter-chopper!

  43. Post
    Author
  44. Post
    Author
  45. Post
    Author
  46. Post
    Author
    YayDude123

    The reason Mike freaks out so much when he sees the Houndeye is because of his bad experiences with them at Black Mesa.

  47. Post
    Author
  48. Post
    Author
  49. Post
    Author
  50. Post
    Author
    Darius Sawyer

    So I'm rewatching this again and i just realized if Ross cant be Batman he'd be Eddie Riggs from Brutal Legends…

  51. Post
    Author
  52. Post
    Author
  53. Post
    Author
  54. Post
    Author

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *