I love the apocalypse. All you scaredy-cat goody-two-shoes with your “Boo-hoo, the world’s ending! Let’s get out of here!” attitudes aren’t taking a minute to smell the roses!” Not that, that’s a burning city. Some folks are hiding out there. That smoke smells pretty good too. I mean, you get to run around with your best friends and just plain have a ball! See that? I found that tank in a warlord’s camp! I painted those flames myself! Pretty neat, huh! Those guys are mutants. I think they eat people. Great folks. Don’t go near them myself. Those guys are Pirates! Don’t drink that water. Or that water. Or that water. Y’know what? Let the pirates have the water. Those are the Borderlords! You know how some people experience a moment of perfect existential freedom when staring into the yawning abyss of destruction caused by spite and indifference? I don’t know what any of that means. Don’t go in the Red Death, by the way. That helicopter’s mine too! It goes fast! Whee! Those are Raiders. They hate everyone. I found a nuke in a supply crate! Imagine, just leaving this lying around! It’s almost like people don’t respect the tools of senseless destruction! *WEEEEELLLLLL* Not entirely senseless. We’re all trying to get to the last surviving place in the world so the last one standing can get onto a lander and fly up to a spaceship that’s leaving this planet to go somewhere else. Or as I like to call it: LEAVING THE PARTY EARLY! Where’d you get that ship anyway? Bet you stole it! From those guys! They’re Scientists! Those are the Jocks! And the Doomsday Preppers! And the Wanderers! We like to shoot each other! For fun! Those are the Cultists. They take their faith very seriously. Gotta respect their commitment. LIGHTBULB! You should just come on down and see the end of the world for yourself! It’ll be the best road trip! The last road trip! You drive the tank! I made us snacks! It’s jerky! You like jerky? Don’t ask where it came from. We’re gonna have the best party. The Last. Party. Ever.