Ellen + Emma Chota – Waves (To The Bone + Red Band Society) (TW)


I can’t stop And I don’t even know why, I just, I just can’t I just I, I just remember coming back from summer break And I was standing there with my lunch tray and I was looking at all the tables and I I had no place to go So I went to the library There’s no food allowed in the library, so I left my tray outside and then after a while I just Just stopped going to the cafeteria at all And I was hungry at first then After a while I got used to it I guess.
And I liked having the extra time to study. And the more I thought about it, the more I figured… If I don’t need lunch, maybe I don’t need breakfast or dinner either. I’m having a difficult time understanding any of this. You know, I’m not really sure why either of them like me. You know, even I don’t like me. I’m not gonna eat a box of freaking chocolate Leo. Leo: “I thought you were better. They wouldn’t be sending you home.”
Emma: “I’m not better. Okay, I’m not better.” And I keep waiting for someone to figure that out and they don’t… I mean of course, they don’t because as long as I say the right thing and act the right way, they’re happy because that means they cured me. And it just kinda.. It kind of became a new project for me you know seeing how long, I could go without eating any food. Not eating was all I thought about. I didn’t care about the fact that I didn’t have any friends… All I cared about was making it through another day without eating Why didn’t you tell us this before? You never asked. I’ve got it under control The only reason, I didn’t tell you I was sick was because you were my best friend. I was the one who was embarrassed, I didn’t want you to see me the way that I saw myself. I didn’t want our relationship to change mom, but I couldn’t stop. I really, really wanted to but I couldn’t stop. You have to eat.
Emma: “I know, I’m sorry. You look like a ghost. Ellen (Eli): “It’s okay.” I’m sorry That I’m not a person anymore… I’m a problem.

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