Everything Wrong With “Everything Wrong With Captain America: Civil War”


Jeremy: Why do they have to wipe Bucky at
this point? Wasn’t he wiped before he went into the cryo-sleep? Bob: The machine being used in this scene
is called the “Memory Suppressing Machine”. It wipes and suppresses memories. It’s likely being used before this mission
because Bucky’s about to steal from and assassinate a person he has passing knowledge
of, but more importantly – a man who knows who he really is: Howard Stark. Howard even recognizes Bucky just before he’s
killed. Howard: Sergeant Barnes? Bob: The danger here is that this could’ve
been a problem if Bucky’s memory hadn’t been freshly microwaved, which was the case
in The Winter Soldier when Steve recognized Bucky, causing Bucky to start remembering
things. Bucky: The man on the bridge… Who was he? Pierce: You met him earlier this week on another
assignment. Bucky: I knew him. Bob: Missed nitpick – Every time these two
guys unlock this door they put themselves in timeout. Jeremy: Also, this book that supposedly controls
the Winter Soldier is introduced here, but wasn’t referenced in Winter Soldier at all,
and Zemo found it buried in some asshole’s wall in Cleveland. So how did they control him in the last movie? Bob: Captain America: The Winter Soldier didn’t
answer many specifics about how exactly HYDRA brainwashed Bucky. They didn’t need to for the story, and leaving
things vague lets other MCU movies fill in the blanks. You know, like how exactly HYDRA “reboots”
Bucky instead of just wiping his memories? Which is what’s being answered right now. Jeremy: 20 seconds of interrupting Marvel
logo. Bob: The intros to “Everything Wrong With”
videos last around 10 seconds each. If CinemaSins is on the side of not wasting
people’s time then they should practice what they preach. Jeremy: Why the hell would you rob police
stations? I know there may be some extra weapons sitting
around the evidence room, but there’s no way there would be enough there to make it worth
it for supervillainy. Bob: Crossbones, aka Brock Rumlow, is trying
to get revenge on the Avengers, specifically Captain America, for what they did to him
at the end of Winter Soldier. Captain America: This is the best lead we’ve
had on Rumlow in six months, I don’t want to lose him. Falcon: Ha, if he sees us comin’ that won’t
be a problem. He kinda hates us. Bob: It seems like one reason he’s attacking
police stations is to attract the attention of the Avengers. Crossbones basically says all this during
his fight with Cap. Crossbones: This is for dropping a building
on my face! Jeremy: Also, this article is the newspaper
version of clickbait, as the article underneath it is some sort of vague, repetitious nonsense
that’s probably trying to sell Viagra. Jeremy: Also, this-
Bob: Video Jeremy: -is the-
Bob: YouTube Jeremy: -version of clickbait, as the-
Bob: Content Jeremy: -is some sort of vague, repetitious
nonsense that’s probably trying to sell- Bob: Crunchyroll. Bob: Missed nitpick – The symbol on the drapes
in Cap’s room is the fleur-de-lis, which is also the emblem for the boy scouts. This isn’t actually a nitpick – I’m just
impressed with subtlety. Bob: Missed nitpick – Why does Falcon wait
until the last possible second to deploy his wings? I get that he’s really good with them but
what if there’s a malfunction of some sort? Doesn’t give him much time to react. Bob: Missed nitpick – This guy gets hit by
Cap’s shield before Cap’s shield hits him. Bob: Missed nitpick- Captain America: I make seven hostiles. Falcon: I make five. Bob: You mean 4. You subdued 3 people. 7 minus 3 is 4. Falcon: Four. Bob: No. Three. Math. Bob: Missed nitpick – Ok first off: Falcon,
based on the last scene where he smacked that dude Scarlet Witch grabbed, should be on the
other side of her. But more importantly – is anyone going to
help Cap who seems to be getting his ass kicked right now? They’re like right across from each other,
they should go and- oh wait nevermind. He’s fine. Jeremy: I know Cap is impervious to a lot
of stuff, but this gas is apparently pretty lethal if it incapacitated this dude immediately
and Cap’s unaffected. Bob: Among Captain America’s many incredible
abilities is the one where he holds his breath for a while. Bob: Missed nitpick: This hazmat guy is supposed
to jump when Crossbones knocks the door open but he panics just a tad too early. Jeremy: That’s badass! But tell me, what kind of bullshit is this? How can a shield of this power bounce off
floors and walls instead of just destroying them, and how did Cap figure out the geometry
of that shot? Bob: Cap’s shield has done wacky shit since
the first Cap film. At the very least you gotta figure after using
it so often Cap has become exceptionally skilled at aiming his shield throws for precise ricochets. But the best part of all this shield nonsense
is that Civil War actually calls it out. Spider-man: That thing does not obey the laws
of physics at all. Captain America: Look kid, there’s a lot
going on here that you don’t understand. Jeremy: Scarlet Witch helpfully throws the
gas into the atmosphere, where it can affect many more people in Lagos. Bob: Scarlet Witch is diluting the gas with
air, nullifying it. It won’t affect “many more people in Lagos”
because the gas is so diluted with clean air that it isn’t harmful anymore. Jeremy: I know she’s a badass, but come on… Black Widow just took out 8 heavily armed
bad guys. Bob: Note that Falcon has kicked just as much
ass as Black Widow at this point in the film, even though both have no proper superpowers. But it’s Black Widow that gets called out
for being unrealistic. It’s like CinemaSins is saying “Look,
I can tolerate the dude with guns that appear out of nowhere who has a drone that can magically
detect a driver’s ‘threat level’, but if a girl knocks out too many boys then it’s
just ridiculous”. Bob: Also she took out 9 people, not 8. Jeremy: Oh good, another villain who thinks
he can win a punching contest with Captain Fucking America. Bob: Crossbones doesn’t think he’s going
to win against Captain America. That’s why he said this just before the
fight. Henchman: Where are you going to meet us? Crossbones: I’m not. Bob: Crossbones knows he’s going to lose,
which is also why he’s wearing a suicide vest. Bob: Missed nitpick- Henchman: Where are you going to meet us? Bob: Who actually says “Where are you going
to meet us?” Because it isn’t the guy next to Crossbones
– his mouth movement doesn’t match the voiceover. Bob: Missed nitpick – When Crossbones throws
the magnetic bomb onto Cap’s shield, Cap is completely surrounded by people with no
Crossbones in sight, but in the next shot Crossbones teleports right behind him. Bob: Missed nitpick – Black Widow uses her
force push powers on these extras. Tony Stark: Plus, 611 million dollars for
my little therapeutic experiment? Jeremy: It appears that Tony is merely being
honored at MIT, but he decided to show the audience his virtual reality memory, which
just so happens to be important to the plot of this movie. All so he could tell these students he funded
their dumb projects. Bob: This is not a bad thing though – I would
argue it’s better than Tony simply telling us how the death of his parents affected him. Instead we’re shown a “therapeutic experiment”
that cost $611 million dollars all while Tony admits that it didn’t really work for him. So from this scene we understand that Tony
is giving money to MIT students that he might’ve used trying in vain to help him overcome the
grief he still feels at the loss of his parents. This scene also gives us the information we
need to understand the film’s climax, when we piece together the “never made it to
the airport” line with the opening car accident. Woman: I am so sorry about the teleprompter,
I didn’t know Ms. Potts had cancelled. Jeremy: Even if they didn’t know about Pepper
cancelling before the talk began, it was the last line of the speech, so they totally had
time to remove the unnecessary reference to a character we won’t be seeing. Bob: Without delving into too much detail
about how the movie is deliberately bringing up Pepper’s absence to highlight her strained
relationship with Tony and how this explains many of Tony’s actions and isn’t “unnecessary”,
how does CinemaSins know what kind of technology runs the holo-prompter? I know people who can’t work their way around
PowerPoint who would be at a complete loss with whatever software was used to make this
nonsense. Point being: we don’t know how the prompter
works. We don’t know how complex it is to edit,
we don’t know if the person who could’ve fixed the prompter was even available, and
we don’t know if the prompter could’ve even been edited while it was running. See, this sin is an example of something CinemaSins
does a lot: not taking a movie at face-value to manufacture comedy. It’s really easy – you should try it sometime. Next time you’re watching a movie and something
happens that isn’t explained in complete detail or requires you to suspend your disbelief
in any way, just say “that’s ridiculous!” The prompter couldn’t have been edited in
time? That’s ridiculous! Alien blood can eat through anything but it
doesn’t melt through the Alien’s skin? That’s ridiculous! Superman can fly? That’s ridiculous! See how funny and not at all annoying that
is? Bonus points if you also yell out things like
“roll credits” and “ex machina”. Missed nitpick: I hope one of the M.I.T. projects
being funded here is a way to prevent fires in theaters that doesn’t involve asbestos. Jeremy: Miriam wastes State Department tax
dollars by leaving work, driving to MIT,, and briefly fucking with Iron Man. Bob: Or she took the day off. Iunno. Vision: Captain Rogers wished to know when
Mr. Stark was arriving. Jeremy: So I came to Wanda’s room right away! Bob: He could’ve heard Cap and Scarlet Witch
talking because their door was open so he knew where Cap was? Or is that too ridiculous for a dude who can
walk through walls? Thaddeus Ross: The world owes the Avengers
an unpayable debt. Jeremy: That’s it. He should stop right there. There is nothing else that needs to be discussed
– not Sokovia, or Lagos, or even Manhattan. They saved the universe multiple times! Bob: Well yeah, this scene admits that, but
Civil War’s all about the hidden consequences of saving the world and if the ends justify
the means. Here, Hulk clearly drops rubble on people
during the New York fight in Avengers 1. Was he prosecuted for that? He was directly responsible for the deaths
or serious injury of the people filming this footage, yet he gets away with it because
he was “saving the universe”? And what dictates a threat to the universe? If some chucklehead from the sewer shows up
and threatens to destroy a city, does that give the Avengers the right to start tossing
buildings around? The police have rules, the government has
rules, but The Avengers don’t despite being several times more powerful? It’s a theme that The Watchmen dealt with
superbly – and much like Watchmen, Civil War highlights the question rather than any specific
answer. Thaddeus Ross: Three days from now the U.N.
meets in Vienna to ratify the accords. Jeremy: The Sokovia Accords were approved
by 117 countries and somehow, The Avengers didn’t get the news until 3 days before the
ratification. Bob: Can we just take a moment to appreciate
what’s happening right now? CinemaSins makes the correct observation that
the Avengers should’ve been notified about the Sokovia Accords due to it having a direct
impact on their operations, yet completely fails to realize that this is the exact reason
for the shot they’re showing for this sin – that of a shocked Captain America staring
down a guilty Tony Stark. Cap is shocked because Tony is still hiding
huge secrets from the rest of the team, and Tony knows this and feels guilty about it
– hence his demeanor. Seems it’s a sin to be subtle. Jeremy: Also – let’s say the U.N. decides
they need the Avengers for something. How does that prevent the Avengers from accidentally
killing people? Bob: It doesn’t. Nothing can prevent accidents 100%. The Sokovia Accords are a way of mitigating
those accidents by way of oversight and accountability – putting the power of the Avengers in check. Vision: Oversight is not an idea that can
be dismissed out of hand. Jeremy: Okay, but you just mentioned that
the existence of the Avengers invites conflict. How would that change with any administrative
oversight? Bob: It could prevent abuses of power and
general recklessness in the resolutions of those conflicts in order to prevent a catastrophe. Captain America: Well then what are you doing
here? Black Widow: I didn’t want you to be alone. Jeremy: Also I needed to give you and the
audience some exposition and set the stage for the next scene. Bob: Scenes are allowed to accomplish multiple
things at once. Some people would even call that “good writing”. News: At least twelve are dead- Jeremy: Twelve? Sure, there’s probably going to be more deaths
later because that’s the way the news works, but that explosion blew up a whole city block. And I can’t believe that when he told everyone
to “get down” that somehow saved a lot of people. Bob: Well one of the main causes of death
from explosions are injuries due to shrapnel, so by telling people to get down T’Challa
was protecting them from the glass shards coming from the windows. Also: the explosion affected a city block,
but it didn’t blow it up. In the news footage being shown here, you
can see the buildings are still standing. Sharon: Most of it’s noise. Except for this. Jeremy: Thank God Sharon is Peggy’s niece
and was here for the funeral. Bob: They’re not at the funeral in London
anymore though. They all went to Vienna after hearing about
the explosion on the news. Sharon: I have to go to work. Sharon: Call NI6, see if you can get forensics
to hurry this up. Sharon: Tips have been pouring in since the
footage went public. Jeremy: If he’s been hiding out here for the
last couple years, more like “BUCKYrest”, amirite??? Bob: No. Jeremy: The shooter from the U.N. Task Force
just fires with impunity without seeing there’s another person there. It’s almost like they’ll accept some collateral
damage for the good of the overall mission. Bob: And they can be punished accordingly
for that because there’s oversight in place for U.N. soldiers. Jeremy: We now take you to Vision and Scarlet
Witch, the most powerful characters in this movie, flirting over some goddamn soup. Bob: The reason they’re “flirting over
goddamn soup” is explained moments later. Scarlet Witch: Vision. Are you not letting me leave? Vision: It is a question of safety. Scarlet Witch: I can protect myself. Vision: Not yours. Mr. Stark would like to avoid the possibility
of another public incident. Bob: I get the criticism being made here – that
Wanda or Vision would prove to be valuable assets on the field – but that isn’t taking
into account the entire beginning of the film, when Wanda accidentally caused an accident
with her powers. Now people are afraid of her, and to ease
their fears Tony had Vision, the only person who could do anything to stop Wanda, keep
her at the Avengers compound. You can be as glib as you want about this
scene or the romantic stuff, but it makes perfect sense. Scarlet Witch: And what do you want? Vision: For people to see you as I do. Jeremy: So is this getting serious? If so, what’s that bedroom gonna look like? Bob: I bet if they had that sex scene CinemaSins
would just complain about Vision’s convenient penis. Jeremy: Hang on, Google Maps tells me it’s
18 fucking hours from Bucharest to Berlin. There isn’t a task force office in Bucharest,
or Belgrade, or anywhere nearby? Even Vienna’s closer! Bob: Seems more likely that they flew. Falcon: So you like cats? Jeremy: You’re just now asking this? Even if they flew here this banter should
have happened long ago. Bob: Wait, so do you think they flew to Berlin
or drove? I’m getting mixed messages. I guess whatever makes the sin funnier, huh? And if they did fly they could’ve been kept
away from each other until now. Jeremy: Hello everyone. I’m Everett K. Ross from the Black Panther
series of comics. I am not to be confused with Thaddeus Ross,
the guy from the Incredible Hulk who also makes an appearance in this movie. Bob: Yeah okay thanks. They’re different people so it shouldn’t
be hard to figure out who is who. And spoilers for real life: sometimes people
have the same last name. Bob: Missed nitpick – that moment when you
got caught sneakin’ a peek of Scarlett Johansson’s butt on film. This guy would be great at CinemaSins. Bob: Missed nitpick – Tony Stark’s backless
phone is neat and all but wouldn’t it be easy for people to see his private texts and
passwords and stuff? Bob: Missed nitpick – an extra in this scene
is shown delivering some papers to another extra and walking away, but 7 seconds later
the same extra shows up in the same spot and does it again. Bob: Missed nitpick – not a very good security
system if all you have to do to gain access is press a button. Captain America: Why would the task force
release this photo to begin with? Jeremy: Seems like a normal thing that happens
every time something like this happens, but Steve is suspicious of it. Bob: Cap isn’t suspicious of the task force. Watch the rest of the scene. Captain America: Why would the task force
release this photo to begin with? Sharon: To get the word out? To involve as many eyes as we can? Captain America: Right. It’s a good way to flush a guy out of hiding. Set off a bomb, get your picture taken. You got 7 billion people looking for the Winter
Soldier. Bob: Cap’s suspicious of the events that
brought Bucky out of hiding. Sharon outright says this. Sharon: You’re saying someone framed him to
find him. Bob: Missed nitpick – I’m as much a fan
of useless numbers and graphs as the next guy, but what information could this graph
possibly be conveying? It actually looks like a fast-forwarded animation
graph from After Effects or Maya. Jeremy: Also, you had an 18 hour trip in a
van to think about this. Bob: It’s almost like there’s more evidence
suggesting they flew to Berlin and didn’t drive, but that wouldn’t make for a good
goof. Bob: Missed nitpick – look Zemo I get why
you’re reading each word of the Winter Soldier book with dramatic pauses in between but you’re
cutting things a little close. Maybe you could say the words as fast as possible
to avoid any issues? Like this. [UNINTELLIGIBLE SHOUTING] Bob: Missed nitpick – guys are you seriously
fighting the metal-armed super soldier with sticks? Bucky: Because I’m not the only Winter Soldier. Jeremy: Remeber, Bucky’s only the Winter Soldier
because Zola remembered he got thrown off the train in the first movie and went backpacking
in the mountains to pick him up later for some dumbass reason. What’s so special about Bucky that they needed
to give him the serum in the first place? Then they kidnapped a whole bunch of people
in 1991 and gave them the serum. And doesn’t HYDRA know the ingredients of
this cocktail? They had access to Zola for years! I guess they didn’t because Bucky had to kill
Tony’s parents for it and set up this fight at the end. Bob: Ohhh boy. Alright, first: Bucky wasn’t found by Zola
– it’s implied he was found by these random HYDRA soldiers. So the whole “Zola remembered Bucky got
thrown from a train and went backpacking in the woods” thing is completely wrong. There was nothing special about Bucky that
warranted being given Zola’s Super Soldier Serum – he was a POW who was experimented
on. Hydra didn’t kidnap “a whole bunch of
people” in 1991 and give them the serum – they were 5 elite Hydra agents who volunteered. Captain America: Who were they? Bucky: Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in Hydra history. And that was before the serum. Bob: Hydra had access to Zola for years via
a computerized version of himself, sure – but remember that Zola didn’t create the Super
Soldier Serum and didn’t have access to its ingredients. Erskine created it, and the last of his formula
died with him and Heinz Kruger in the original Captain America film. Zola was trying to recreate that serum when
he experimented on Bucky and other POWs, but failed to do so. Hell, the version of the serum the Winter
Soldier stole from Howard Stark wasn’t even the original Super Soldier Serum – it was
Stark’s version of it. One that had nasty side effects. Bucky: They can take a whole country down
in one night and you’d never see them coming. Jeremy: Why haven’t they then? I know in Winter Soldier, Zola said something
about “blah blah, take away freedom, blah blah, people resist”, but if you have 30 super
soldiers all created before the Avengers existed, then why not use them to do that very thing? Bob: It’s made brutally obvious that these
other Winter Soldiers could barely be controlled – what with that one scene showing them..
you know.. not being controlled. It seems they were regarded as a failed experiment. Jeremy: 30 super soldiers- Bob: Not 30 super soldiers. Five bags of serum, five soldiers. Five. Missed nitpick: What the hell is aunt May
mouthing here? “Animal fat”? “You’re my fun”? “Help me fang”? Missed nitpick: So Tony uses a Vivo phone
like Captain America? Dude makes his own suits and artificial intelligences
but when it comes to a smartphone he’s like “gimme that mid-range android phone”. Peter Parker: And I’ve had these powers for
six months- Jeremy: Peter’s only had his Spidey powers
for six months, but Tony’s had time to scout him, study the strength of his webbing, and
build a suit for him. Bob: Six months seems like a perfectly reasonable
amount of time to do all these things. Tony’s pretty good at making suits quickly
– he completed the Mark 1, a much more complicated robotic armor, in three months while being
held captive by terrorists while his heart was hooked up to a car battery. And he’s only gotten better since then considering
Iron Man 3’s various armors. Hotguy: Come on, we’ve got one more stop. Jeremy: Why does Hawkeye pick Cap’s side? Just because Quicksilver saved him in Age
of Ultron, you can’t assume he’d go against the other Avengers just to give Wanda a ride. Bob: Probably because he agrees with Cap that
the Sokovia Accords are a bad idea? Plus, we’re not just “assuming” Hawkeye’s
helping out Wanda because Quicksilver died – he outright says it. Captain America: You know I wouldn’t have
called if I had any other choice. Hawkeye: Hey man, you’re doing me a favor. Besides, I owe a debt. Bob: Missed nitpick – looks like even the
super soldier serum doesn’t make you any good at parking cars. Captain America: So to come with us you’re
a wanted man. Ant-man: Yeah well, what else is new. Jeremy: So much for spending time with your
daughter, which was the whole reason you wanted to be a good guy in your own movie. Bob: Not really – the whole reason Scott wanted
to be a good guy was so he could be the hero his daughter thought he was, which is kinda
outright said a few times in that movie. Maggie: You’re her hero, Scott. Just be the person that she already thinks
you are. Hank Pym: This is your chance. The chance to earn that look in your daughter’s
eyes. To become the hero that she already thinks
you are. It’s not about saving our world. It’s about saving theirs. Bob: Sure, at the start of the film Scott
wants to spend more time with his daughter, but by the end he realizes his role is to
protect the world she lives in by being a superhero – which is time-consuming and life-threatening
in its own right. If the whole reason Ant-Man wanted to be a
good guy was to spend more time with his daughter, then he wouldn’t be Ant-Man. This is shown at the end of the movie, when
Scott takes time away from his daughter to be a superhero. Scott Lang: Sorry. It’s work. Yeah. All right. Scott: Just give me the facts. Tony Stark: Your old war buddy killed innocent
people yesterday- Captain America: And there are five more super
soldiers just like him. Jeremy: But what’s not important to tell you
at this moment is that Bucky had no control over his actions, because there’s a complicated
series of passwords that evil people programmed him with, and… ah fuck it. Bob: Oh wait, Bucky didn’t have control
over his actions? Well that changes everything. Call off the manhunt everybody – let’s just
let the Winter Soldier run around and do whatever despite being a huge risk to everyone around
him. But seriously – Cap’s just bringing up the
more pressing issue of The Imminent Death Squad rather than getting into Bucky’s convoluted
mind control bullshit that doesn’t really change the fact that he needs to be arrested
right now. Oh, and there’s also the part where Cap
said this before the scene CinemaSins showed: Captain America: Hear me out Tony. That doctor, the psychiatrist – he’s behind
all of this. Jeremy: Oh come on. These webs are so strong that Cap himself
can’t get free of them, but Hawkeye’s arrows are good enough? Bob: This is because Spider-man’s webbing
has exceptional tensile strength. Tony Stark. You know what I think is really cool? This webbing. The tensile strength is off the charts. Bob: Which means that the webbing is very
difficult to break by pulling it apart. It is however susceptible to being cut apart,
which is what Hawkeye’s arrows are doing. Bob: Missed nitpick – when Spider-man catches
Bucky’s fist, why didn’t Spidey’s web shooter go off? If the thing’s triggered by the pressure
of two fingers then a punch should’ve either caused it to spray webbing all over or broke
it. Bucky: I didn’t kill your father. Black Panther: Then why did you run? Jeremy: What kind of question is that? He was running because you were chasing him
in a scary cat suit. Bob: Bucky started running before Black Panther
showed up at his place in Bucharest. Cool joke though. Jeremy: Doesn’t it feel like Scarlet Witch
could just end this whole battle right now? You know, because she’s the one who practices
real magic? Bob: She can’t be everywhere at once though,
which is why she’s running into fights and busting heads instead of just doing that all
at once. It’s also important to remember that no
one in this fight, aside from Black Panther, actually want anyone to get hurt. So of course Scarlet Witch is going to hold
back a bit. Captain America: Alright Sam, what’s the play? Falcon: We need a diversion. Jeremy: The Avengers always have these communication
devices built into their uniforms, but if half of them are using them, shouldn’t the
other half be able to hear the same conversation? Did they meet earlier and determine which
side uses which frequency? Bob: Well, they did meet earlier and suited
up before the fight… Plus they’re probably used to determining
chat frequencies before operations to prevent eavesdropping… so… yes? Missed nitpick: Spider-man couldn’t have
made this shot. Cap’s hand is in front of him, but Spidey
somehow curved his web around Cap’s body to reach it? Missed nitpick: The masking on Cap’s hand
here is pretty bad and makes it look like Cap’s shield is cutting into his palm. Jeremy: Vision finally decides to start Visioning. Bob: I think Vision’s limited use in this
fight is because he knows he’s powerful and he’s afraid of doing serious harm to
his friends, so he’s holding back. In fact, Tony knew Vision was powerful and
only wanted to involve him if they had no other options. Black Widow: Is this part of the plan? Iron Man: Well my plan was to go easy on ’em,
you wanna switch it up? Bob: Turns out he was right too – Vision gets
distracted and… whoops… Jeremy: What the hell has she been doing this
whole time? Bob: Hiding by the jet. Jeremy: She got knocked out of the battle
earlier, so then she decided to hang out by the jet? Bob: Yes. Jeremy: She was gonna be the last defense
against Captain freaking America? Bob: She had second thoughts and decided to
help Captain America, so no. Missed nitpick: Holy shit I’d be terrified
of a missile firing that close to my exposed head. If Falcon so much as looks too far to the
right, he’ll blow his own head off. F.R.I.D.A.Y.: -where police also found a wig
and facial prosthesis approximating the appearance of one James Buchanan Barnes. Jeremy: Zemo seriously found ways to do amazing
things over one year’s time. He’s not only great with computers and decrypting
classified documents, but also making a mask of Barnes that fools facial recognition software. Bob: To be fair, Zemo had more than a year
to become good at computers. F.R.I.D.A.Y.: The fake doctor’s actually
Colonel Helmut Zemo. Sokovian intelligence. Zemo ran EKO Scorpion – a Sokovian covert
kill squad. Bob: So Zemo is good at decrypting stuff and
making convincing disguises because that was literally his job before the events of Age
of Ultron. It’s really weird how a little context clears
up these sins. Tony Stark: Get this to Ross. Jeremy: Which one? Bob: The one Tony directly reports to. Oh whoops you were trying to make a joke. My bad. Sorry. Jeremy: Does this facility still have power? Bob: The door opens so yeah. Some power generators are known to last 30
years or longer so is this really that far-fetched? Ross: Did he give you anything on Rogers? Tony Stark: Nah, he told me to go to hell- Jeremy: Ross, who doesn’t trust Stark when
it comes to Zemo, suddenly trusts Stark in this situation and doesn’t have him followed. Bob: Tony signed the accords and has been
helping Ross up to this point. He hasn’t really been given a reason to
distrust Tony so far. Also, I should probably say “which Ross?”
here but I won’t. Except I kinda just did? Oh well. Jeremy: Oh, how lucky! Black Panther just happens to be 5 seconds
behind Iron Man, even though he was secretly following Cap and Bucky the whole time! Bob: Because he was following Tony? Because Tony was the only person who could
get Cap and Bucky’s location from his locked up friends? Bucky: What was her name again? Captain America: Dolores. You called her Da. Jeremy: Steve remembers the name of some random
redhead Bucky tried to impress more than 70 years ago. Bob: Steve was frozen for 67 years and Bucky
for a similar amount of time, so it’s only been a few years since this happened to them. Jeremy: Yep, just incredible footage on a
tree-lined country road. “Cam 3” as it turns out. Cams everywhere in the area. You never knew when Bigfoot might be around. And the footage was saved! Bob: At the beginning of the movie we learn
that Tony’s parents have to make a stop off at the Pentagon or some other unnamed
government facility before they head to the airport. Tony: Where you going? Maria: Your father’s flying us to the Bahamas
for a little getaway. Howard: We might have to make a quick stop- Tony: At the Pentagon. Right? Bob: Howard’s silence doesn’t exactly
confirm where they’re headed, but one of the shots from a security camera confirms
that the road Tony’s parents were driving on wasn’t just some “tree-lined country
road” – the gate and barbed wire tells us this place is a big deal, so it’d make sense
that there would be security cameras posted nearby. Missed nitpick: Of all the days Bucky is caught
on a security camera it was the one day he forgot to wear his neat mask he wore during
Winter Soldier. Jeremy: Even though we’re seeing this in full
color, the movie is trying to say Tony can see this same angle and footage too, driving
home the drama of his mother getting strangled. But really, all he’d be able to see is Bucky
standing next to the car… doing something… probably bad. Bob: The camera feed Tony’s watching gave
him a clear view of his father being murdered. Tony knows both his parents died in this crash,
so if the Winter Soldier is next to the passenger seat doing something, I think he’s smart
enough to put two and two together. Jeremy: Presumably this means he shot the
camera, but it was conveniently impervious, considering we have this footage. Bob: Security cameras aren’t like regular
cameras – they don’t store footage internally. They send that footage to monitors and/or
servers that record and archive it. Otherwise they’d be hilariously inept. Jeremy: Also, suddenly this movie is saying
there was a facility nearby that could capture security footage. First off, that’s terribly convenient- Bob: Terribly convenient? Howard was delivering his version of the Super
Soldier Serum to a government facility. What’s terribly convenient is that CinemaSins
decided to leave out the fact that the movie addresses their previous “why’s there
a camera on some random country road” sin yet dismiss it because it’s “terribly
convenient”. Jeremy: -but second off, terrible nonsense,
because there was no such place nearby in the beginning of the movie. Bob: Look at the security footage. The fence doesn’t follow the road the Starks
were driving on – it’s angled toward the tree the Starks crash into and blocks a road
leading from the main road. The car accident hid this from our view in
previous scenes, and it was just outside of the shot in others. So no, this is not “terrible nonsense”
– it was purposefully hidden information meant to conceal the major reveal that Bucky killed
Tony’s parents. Jeremy: Now Tony gets mad, even though he
knows for a fact that Bucky had no control over his actions. Or is this movie saying he didn’t? I find that hard to believe. Bob: I find it hard to believe that CinemaSins
didn’t know Tony knew Bucky had no control over his actions when the movie addresses
that in three different scenes. Tony: Ugh, manchurian candidate, you’re killing
me. There’s a truce here, you can drop the.. Captain America: It wasn’t him Tony. HYDRA had control of his mind. Iron Man: Move. Captain America: This isn’t gonna change
what happened. Iron Man: I don’t care. He killed my Mom. Jeremy: And even though he just learned somebody
framed Bucky 10 minutes ago, he gets blinded with anger. Bob: He got blinded with anger after Cap confirmed
it was Bucky who killed his parents and that Cap knew about it, meaning there was no framing
involved. Tony: Did you know? Captain America: I didn’t know it was him. Tony: Don’t bullshit me Rogers. Did you know? Captain America: Yes. Jeremy: To be fair, the only reason he knows
is because Zola showed him what HYDRA did to people who worked for SHIELD in that bunker
scene in The Winter Soldier. But then right after that, HYDRA fired missiles
into the building and he had to make a miraculous escape. So it might have slipped his mind. Bob: Obviously it didn’t and Steve was deliberately
keeping that information from Tony based on his note at the end of the film. Captain America: I know I hurt you Tony. I guess I thought by not telling you about
your parents I was sparing you. But I can see now that I was really sparing
myself. And I’m sorry. Black Panther: Is this all you wanted? To see them rip each other apart? Jeremy: Yup, and just think – he could have
done this by simply sending the tape to Tony with a little Post-It note that read “play
me”. Bob: Zemo only just got that footage though,
which he had to do by gaining access to Bucky and learning where the Siberian Hydra facility
was – all of which put the Avengers on his trail. If Cap, Bucky and Tony weren’t chasing him
he might’ve done what you’re suggesting, but we don’t know because the Avengers caught
him just as he gained access to the VHS evidence. Missed nitpick – I guess Zemo’s too evil
to get a Vevo phone. Missed nitpick – Tony told Spider-man to go
for Cap’s legs but during this fight Tony seems to forget about that. Then again, he’s going through a lot. I’ll cut him some slack. Zemo: We were miles from harm. When the dust cleared, it took me two days
until I found their bodies. Jeremy: But if they were together, how did
Zemo survive? Bob: They were together but probably not nearby
– that’s why Zemo’s father was holding his wife and son in his arms when he died. Zemo: It took me two days until I found their
bodies. My father still holding my wife and son in
his arms. Bob: Zemo wasn’t near them so his father
tried to protect them. Yet another example of a movie not explaining
something outright and CinemaSins just assuming it’s wrong. Zemo: If I could get them to kill each other… Jeremy: Let’s talk about Zemo’s plan. The entire thing relies o Scarlet Witch doing
something incredibly stupid during the Crossbones fight in Lagos. Without that, there would be no Sokovian Accords. Bob: They’re called the “Sokovia Accords”
because of the battle of Sokovia that happened in Age of Ultron. If the accords themselves are huge and 117
countries approved them, do you really think they came together just after Scarlet Witch’s
accident in Lagos? The accords were going to happen regardless
of that and were likely being devised immediately after Age of Ultron, which means they’ve
been roughly a year in the making. Jeremy: -which Zemo had no idea would happen
when he started planning his revenge, and yet is a huge part of the plan in this movie. Bob: The Sokovia Accords were likely being
planned before the events in Lagos, which means Zemo had the opportunity to hack into
the U.N. and learn about them and base his plan around them. Sound ridiculous? Remember: Zemo already hacked the U.N. to
learn who they were going to hire as a psychiatrist, which was also a major part of his plan. Jeremy: Then he plots to bomb the U.N., frame
Bucky, and somehow, some way he knows Steve and Tony will hate each other over it- Bob: Zemo knew Steve and Tony would fight
over Bucky because he knew Steve would do anything to save his old friend. Jeremy: And he also knows Tony will figure
out about the dead psychiatrist at the perfect time- Bob: Zemo called room service at the place
he was staying in Germany so that the body of the psychiatrist he was impersonating would
be found, tipping off the Avengers to what happened. Missed nitpick: Black Panther covering Zemo’s
gun and causing it to backfire would’ve completely ruined the gun and Zemo’s hand. Jeremy: Again, he’s not gonna die. What a pussy this movie is. Bob: For some reason I don’t think Captain
America, the magicbeef boyscout, would murder his friend in cold blood. Everett Ross: All that time, all that effort… To see it fail, so spectacularly. Zemo: Did it? Jeremy: Well, pretty much, yeah. I mean, Bucky lost an arm, but generally Cap
and Tony are good to go for Infinity War. Unless they’re saying there’s more to Zemo’s
plan, like he’s Joker in The Dark Knight and he needed to be captured. Bob: Holy shit there’s no more to Zemo’s
plan, he’s just pointing out that the Avengers are divided now. Jesus. Jeremy: Dear Hollywood. Specifically: dear Marvel. So I heard Captain America 3 is gonna hold
its ground and go head-to-head with Batman vs. Superman. Have you lost your god damn mind? Look, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret:
no one gives a shit about Captain America. Seriously. The only people who care about Captain America,
I mean truly have a passion for the character, are either Stan Lee, or dead. You wanna know why Cap 2 broke box office
records? Not because people were starving for a Cap
movie – but because people were starving for an action movie. And a superhero movie. And it’s fucking April, when nothing else
is out. And also inflation. On the other hand, Superman and Batman are
arguably two of the most beloved and revered superheroes of all time. Spider-man is up there with those guys, but
it’s those three and then everyone else. Now, Warner has definitely proven they can
fuck a comic book property right in the tight-wearing ass, no argument there. But they’re still the only studio that’s promising
to give us Batman and Superman in the same movie. Almost certainly fighting each other. Game over. You lose.

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