Gender Roles in Society: Steve Harvey Shares His Thoughts | BET’s Mancave

Gender Roles in Society: Steve Harvey Shares His Thoughts | BET’s Mancave


(upbeat music) – Roles and duties that were
traditionally done by males may now be carried out
by females or vice versa, but how do people really feel about it? Do you have a problem
with paying for dinner? – No, not at all. – If you really want to take me on a date, why you not paying? – Okay. (laughter) – It should be a 50/50. – Yes. – Why? – Because, like, she gotta eat too. – If I pay for dinner, I ain’t gotta give up the cookie all the time. – There you have it. Would you be cool being
a stay at home dad? – Hell yeah. – I couldn’t do it. – Yeah, I could do that. – Why is he a stay at home dad? – You making so much money
outta control. Ballin’. He don’t need to work. – He gotta be doing something. – Could you respect a man if
he made more money than you? – Sure. – Hell yeah, cause that’s
gonna motivate me to do more. – It doesn’t matter to me, for real. As long as we’re both happy. – I mean, I could make
a little more than you, but as long as you kinda
catchin’ up, then it’s fine. – Would you accept a marriage
proposal from a woman? – I think traditionally
the man should do it. – Now, I’ll drop some
hints, but I’m not asking. – You ain’t askin’. At all. – You better ask me. – Or it’s over. – If I really love her, and
I’m really down with it, then yeah, I would accept that. – That has to be me. – If I loved him enough, yes! – [Billy] You ain’t got
no problem with that. – I ain’t got no problem
getting on the one knee. – If she popped the question,
would you be down with yes? – Well, it would have to depend on the time of the day, you know? – Ladies and Gentleman,
more from the street. – [Host] Whoa. – We got my man, Steve
Harvey, in the house with us. I wanna know how do we feel
about switchin’ up gender roles? Steve? – See, I’m from a different generation, so the way I was raised was an
unthinkable thing to do this back where I’m from. And
as I’ve gotten older, it’s still unacceptable too. (claps) For me, it would go against everything that I was meant to be in
terms of what I was taught. Manhood was about. I can’t
have a woman takin’ care of me. – That’s what make a man a man. – Hold on, hold on. Here’s what I think. This is just me thinking, you know, this is forward thinking. Where we are. Let’s think about the bacon. Okay? Let’s say your woman makes
ten times the bacon you make. – I’d be the happiest man in the world. – You understand with me?
You know what I’m saying? – Ten times more than me. We set. – [Tank] Come on now. I’m
going to culinary school. I’m gonna learn to cook that thing out. – I’m a wear something nice for you. – [Tank] I’m a wear something nice for you when you come home. Huh.
My knees gonna be out. (overlapping voices) (laughter) – You gonna have your little negligee on? – [Steve] Based on that, I
can see myself with Oprah. (laughter) – [Kosine] Right. Right. – I’m a be good with a Ms.
Parker from across the street. I ain’t trippin. – You be good with a Monee. – Yeah, I would. I would. (laughter) – [Steve] Ya’ll wrong for that. – [Tank] What about your
traditions? I know you got some deep rooted traditions
where you’re from Kosine. – Yeah, yeah, yeah, you
know, I’m a alpha male. You know what I mean, and I
feel like as times are changing, and the world is turnin’,
it’s more important to wave your flag strong as
alpha male. You got to wave it. You know what I’m saying? And
I’m with you 100%, you know, I’m not necessarily old
school, but I was raised by the old school, and
I believe in that 100%, like a woman, she needs to
feel protected by her man. – Of course. – [Kosine] She needs
to feel taken care of. – [Tank] Of course. – In every sense of the word, so yeah. – But see, here’s another
part that this goes too. Is that the new evolution of woman is partly our fault. – Okay, agreed. – [Tank] I’ll go there with you. Because we have neglected
our responsibilities to make a woman feel protected. – [Slink] Exactly. Yeah. And that’s why you even have this kind of conversation. – But part of that is, how
many brothers have seen protection from a man? – That’s right. – And so, a lot of us had
dads or father figure or a granddad or a uncle, and
even if he has some shit on him and wasn’t perfect, we still
saw him work every day. We saw him come home every day.
We saw him do certain things and we were like this is
what a man is supposed to do. So even as we’ve evolved
into this new space where men become more
communicative, and we talk about things that our parents – I talk about things with my wife my dad could have never
talked about with my mom. But my wife still expects me to show up with certain things intact. – But see, here’s what’s happening. Women today have lesser choices, and that’s really not the woman’s fault. They just dealin’ with the residue that left for so many fatherless homes. And so now, you got young cats
on the tape, like up here, “Yeah, I ain’t got no problem
stayin’ home. Oh, yeah, yeah. A woman got to pay for my
food. Oh, man it’s 50/50.” It ain’t 50/50. – It ain’t. – [Steve] God, no. A relationship
with a woman, with a wife, is not 50/50. If you marry, it’s 85/15. The woman get 85, you get 15. That’s really the way it works. – Shit! – [Steve] They do more.
They’re responsible. – I didn’t know this! (laughter) – I bet I could bring you in! – Wait! – Come on, boy! – You just a baby. – [Kosine] No! – I mean, when you said it wasn’t 50/50, I said, ‘okay, 60/40, 70/30.’ – [Steve] No, it’s not.
This is how it works. It requires a woman more money to dress, to take care of herself,
to run the household. You not really good at
running the household. You don’t know where the key is. You don’t know when soccer practice is. – Where the key is at! (laughter) – You don’t know nothing. You just ignant. – So here’s the teacher here? – That’s right. You don’t know nothing. A woman knows virtually everything to really run that empire.
I’m doing what I do. I protect, provide, and profess. – [Slink] That’s how it’s supposed to be. – [Steve] The three p’s
that a man show love. So, if you’re not
providing for your woman, you’re not protecting her, and you’re not professing your love
for her, what you doing? And until we start teaching
this to the younger generation, they actually think that a girl
‘pose to pay for something. – But Slink, what do you think about, one, the marriage proposal piece. Would you take a marriage
proposal from a woman? – Um, me personally, no. I wouldn’t take the proposal because again, I’m from an
old school and I think men we go get our woman. We
get the woman I want. And if I’m sittin’ around
her, and she gotta ask me, I probably don’t want to marry you. Look here, man go out and get his woman, prepare a place for his woman,
and set it out for his woman, and she take care of it. It ain’t supposed to be
the other way around. – [Jeff] Here’s what’s interesting, so there’s cats that a little woman, her career is on a whole
nother level than his. She makin’ money. He stays home. I don’t think that that
means he’s emasculated, cause I think even to your point, Steve, if y’all got a relationship, where listen, sista’s career is the top career – That doesn’t mean you can’t protect. That doesn’t mean you can’t
show love. It means though, no, no, no, no, no wait
though, it means though, you gotta be clear
about what your role is. – Yeah. – I can understand this. Things have got a lil,
you know, off kilter. She makin’ more money. That’s cool. And you decide you gotta stay at the house for a time with the kids. There’s nothin’ in me
that’s gonna allow myself to sit here the entire
time while my girl go out and kill everything we eat. – [Slink] That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout! – And I’m sittin’ at
the house babysitting? – Right. – [Jeff] But wait Steve,
what is more important than making sure your kids,
your sons, your daughters are prepared for the world? And if it’s a brother at
the house who said, ‘listen, she got this financial
thing, but I’m about to prepare some soldiers in the house.’ It don’t mean that he ain’t
sitting there doing nothing. – Right. – [Jeff] But we have said
as men, that babysitting – it ain’t babysitting! It’s preparing our babies for the world. – Nah. – [Jeff] In a way that
they need to be prepared. Sometimes you gotta create a model. It ain’t babysitting! – But it’s like this – Hell nah, though Jeff. – [Steve] I can’t show my
sons, and I can’t give my daughters the vision of a man sittin’ at the house while the
woman is out getting. – Never! Never! – I can’t make my daughter
think that’s cool, and I damn sure can’t make
this boy think this is cool. If the family folds up and your ass was at the house when the family sank, what we talkin’ bout here? – [Tank] Steve there are things
you can do around the house. – Like what? – Move the grass! – Mow the grass on sand! – [Tank] Rake some leaves around here! – [Kosine] Rake some leaves? – [Tank] What your fold
game look like, huh? – Fold some clothes? – [Jeff] Unnatural, ya’ll. Hold up, cause brother to brother.
I need my drink refilled. (others agree) (upbeat music)

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    Thaxton Waters

    If a woman is making more, he might not notice in the beginning BUT his LIGHT/MOTIVATION will diminish in time, in her eyes but in HIS own eyes as well.

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    Livienne Nonord

    Thursday!!!!
    Thirs-Day! Bring this back!
    Add some
    1. Asian/Korean brothers
    2. Caucasian brothers,
    3. Hispanics brothers
    4. some Islanders brothers

    and let's slow the process to:
    a. where are you from
    b. social economic/ & parents
    c. student loans & debt
    * lol—- sleep deprived

    example:
    young man who wants to stay at home with 1 child, then 2 children vs. being employed outside of the house

    Part II of this:
    Fast Forward: (Surprised) He's employed with the babies & the house can never be clean or stay clean…

    * is it easy as you think!!!!

    it's like going to school wanting to become a counselor or psychologist then finding out:
    everyone could establish order by actually doing a "little work" everyday—- while you're not block, trapped, and in too many organization spread thin….
    the thinner you are: the cleaner the sheet…. not necessarily!
    Then the mentally is everyone go home and wash your ass one bowl of water at a time in the morning one day…($orry I took this dirty, dirty South) sidetrack- what is the 3 little pigs story about!
    * I'm not sure if the youngmen are more into the new role than a 'caring person' is willing or WILL to:
    a. make things work
    b. see things are working together with the least abuse of:
    a. life
    b. health
    c. strenght
    d. discontentment
    e. and enjoying lots of rest & love, Comforter- did I say comforter— Holy Spirit!

    love
    peace
    harmony

    hope the nasty humor wasn't a turn off so bad you don't take my word for it.

    we WE ambitious people are whipping our body to an early death!!!! have you tried "Insanity work out!"

    WE are 'Upon The Edge of Mercy "—-; with our bodies!!! right SheHorny!!!!

    Luvienne Nonord
    author of
    'Upon The Edge of Mercy (series)

    thanks

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    Lauren Pray

    I grew up in a traditional household and the last thing I want is kids or a man to provide for me my plan is law school. Women make usually less because they have a child and can't be at work all the time. It's time for that to change.

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    Andre Johnson

    It's absolutely ridiculous to enter into a union thinking that it's 85/15.

    Women today will tell you flat out to your face. What do I need you for. I'm carrying the load.

    If any relationship or union is not 50/50 it will fail. The man gives 100% of his 50 and the woman gives 100% of her 50. Hell make it a fun competition between the two to see who can out do the other at giving 100% of their 50.

    The problem today is everybody thinks couples have to be put into some kind of a category or roles. That's trash, if you let society tell you how to live your life. Your life will be a mirror image of what society tells you how your life should be.

    I was raised on traditional ideology. I would come up with new creative thinking within those traditional ideals. Critique, Remix and be creative. Make the entire relationship fun. Stop thinking it's going to be hard work. If you do think it's going to be hard work, it's going to be hard work.

    I can go on and on but I completely disagree with Steve Harvey. Everyone's relationships are not the same. No two people are the same.

    How bout a man and woman build a empire/business together eliminating who make more $$, as a championship winning team. We, Us and Ours, teaching the kids how to implement the same blueprint. But modify it and customize it to the kids future relationships.

    I've given to much advice without being paid for it LOL

    The End.

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    shabzana shabzana

    Steve has is right, however a man can do all of that and still help out in the house, Usually if he is professing his love he's usally appreciating her so she probably wont even want his help in the house!!! 3 p's i like that a lot.

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    Judith Lusamba

    I cant marry a man who makes less than me. He should either make just as much, more, or have the potential to make more (ex: working on starting a business, studying etc) if he sees me make more money than him and that makes him comfortable, it would really put me off. Instead, it should motivate him to try harder

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    Kaostech 20

    All I have to say is you can be as happy as your saddest child. So all this talk about who makes more money and who should not parent and all that nonsense is all Bullspit if at the end of the day your kids don;t get time. Time is the only thing NOONE can give you.

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    Ashley Young

    I'm with Steve. How can a man teach his son how to be a man when he sitting at home while his wife is working? I don't agree with him referring to it as babysitting though.. But we not going to kake that a permanet habit.

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    KanchoKomancho

    In the Western world (exposed by the tyranny of political correctness and gender-politicizing ideology based on the postmodernist worldview) men have become wimps that are afraid of women in general and are specially afraid to oppose and/or resist them. That’s why they’ll bare the consequences.

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    Nicole Smith

    I'am 26 and very old school. Iam a country girl. I believe in cooking, cleaning, and keeping myself up. Usually Ive dated men over 3o but decided to date guys closer to my age. Both were 26 and 28, and always expected for me to pay for something. One ask me to go for a day trip and then asked if I could go half on the room. I believe in helping but it's a turnoff in certain situations.

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    Mugga Sessions

    Notice how they all agreed that a woman has many responsibilities around the house and maintains the kingdom but not two seconds later laughed at the idea of a man taking on those responsibilities lol…..smh come on now man

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    Shel Les

    I hate when simp black men trashing black men. That's our fault. No, women lost the traditional, blame feminism. What the hell Steve Harvey talking about. A man supposed to protect, provide, procreate.

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    LaVon Watts

    It's 2019 no one should be not working in some form of fashion. Men are actually falling behind in education because of this i have to make money for family because who else will or i will lose them mentality. Both of you and who you're with provide for the house and take care of the house and children together. Both of you elevate and grow together both get an education both actively work on who and what you aspire to be. What most people believe are gender rolls and what a man or woman should do is really crippling/enabling putting in a box mentality because what if the other dies or just leaves you with house and a home. If someone dies maybe you'll get left enough money to pay for things for a while but money runs out. If someone leaves you have to reteach yourself basic shit everyone should be learning or try to make sure you make enough to survive. Just be a decent person feed and learn off the people around you. Realize no one owes you shit. Not to pay your bills not having sex with you not putting up with your bs and not cleaning up after you. Humble yourself as an adult. Love someone truly. Unconditionally.

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    Doree b

    I loved this conversation, say that Steve! I work but I still need my hubby to work too. Now sometimes hubby may fall on hard times and I am going to hold him down then.

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    Paul D

    I'm new school and Idgaf Bout it ain't nobody staying with me and not getting no bag and not putting down on nothing y'all can keep that old school bullshit trick ass niggas

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    alan diaz

    Outdated mysgonistic views. That's a type of relationship that some people are into. But as far as "rules" they don't exist. This isn't the stone age. "Masculinity" doesn't mean shit. Get over it.

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    TruthTruth777

    The confusion with these gender roles was clearly a creation by the colonizers..its so sad to see people so confused out here

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    Kung Lao

    What I don't understand is what kind of expensive ass restaurants are ya'll going to on your first date that you have think so hard about who's paying for it?

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    Nana Gyambibi

    This is where I disagree with Steve. My mom and dad both worked full-time jobs, they tagged teamed picking us up and dropping us off from school, basketball practice, parent teacher meetings, etc. My mom and my dad cleaned the house up. My mom cooked, my dad tried to cook or we just ordered food or went out to eat as a family. My point is this notion that the male has no clue what's going on with the kids while the mom has the sole responsibility for them is false, both of my parents were active and were true partners when it came to household dynamics. So no its not going to be 85 15. She gotta bring some funds in too. Its ok to have standards too fellas.

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    jagir

    If the dad doesn’t know what time is soccer practice then find out and write it out the same way a mom would like are men half retarted

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    Jasmine Fields

    I keep hearing the excuse that a men didnt have that father figure, but neither did these women and they are becoming more successful. I hate the excuses

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    awardwin

    People are raised to be racist & homophobic so how you were raised is a cop out. So what your saying is that dating is all about seeking a woman’s approval. 85/15??? Why do women want equality in everything except for relationships? There’s far more pressure on a man to basically finance all of her dreams. Not to mention that most women are ungrateful which is why men are going their own way.

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    Gretchen Mann

    I personally believe that it's fluid. There are times my husband requires more support and then other times when I am neediest. If you can be vulnerable and comfortable with that ever changing flow, you will do fine.

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    rtoriq

    "But she could be working and you're raising soldiers in the home."
    Steve: smh "nah."

    LOL this INSTINCTUAL manhood mentality is precisely why I'm interested in dating older men only. They. Just. GET. It. Now let me get this hot fresh dinner ready for ya zaddy lol!

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    Jezzy Christ aka thrilla

    As a man… whenever someone told me “ oh you babysitting” whenever it was me with my child, that was the most insulting thing you could ever tell me. I’m not babysitting,I’m parenting…

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