Honest Government Ad | Quiet Australians


Hello I’m from the Australien Government As you may have noticed, we’re in the process
of transitioning to Authoritarianism Don’t worry, you don’t need to do anything In fact, doing and saying nothing will greatly assist us in this process For guidance, just look to the Labor Party Sadly, not everyone knows how to be a Quiet Australian That’s why, to ensure a smooth transition
to Authoritarianism, we’re launching a new initiative Introducing: The Quiet Australia Policy Under the Quiet Australia Policy, Australia
will be home only to Quiet People Such as, Quiet Whistleblowers Coz we’re prosecuting all the loud ones
who expose our shitfuckery like how we abuse the tax system, and defraud our neighbours, commit war crimes, and spy on all of you We’ll also have Quiet Journalists Coz the ones who do their job by publishing
those leaks will get their arses raided Or thrown in jail, to please our masters Coz “journalists aren’t above the law” Except when they publish what *we* leak to them
for our political interests In which case, they are! A Quiet FOI agency
Where if you lodge a request, you get “Hello darkness my old friend” Quiet Charities: coz if they dare to endorse a political party, we’ll strip them of their tax-deductible status And Quiet Corporations… [snort]
just kidding They can spend millions to buy politicians,
and we’ll let ‘em claim it as a tax deduction Because we believe in the Free Market Unless you use that freedom to boycott companies with ties to coal mines and climate-denying lobby groups in which case we’ll make boycotts illegal How good are Quiet Shoppers & Quiet Shareholders We also love Quiet Protestors coz nothing says Free Speech like some Pepper Spray in the fucking face Quiet School Kids coz the little shits should be seen and not heard And now that everything’s on fire thanks
to our total paralysis on the climate crisis we especially like Quiet Scientists Quiet Conservationists And Quiet Firechiefs Coz fuck experts But hey, if you’re a QAnon conspiracy nutjob,
our PM will not only listen to your bullshit, he’ll also put it in his speeches Cool and normal The Quietest Australians are of course those we drove to suicide with our illegal debt-recovery schemes The First Nations people murdered in our custody The elderly who die from negligence in our underfunded aged care homes And all the species about to go extinct under our watch When you put all that together you start to see the Neoliberal Shitshow on a Quietly Dead-Arse Planet we’re preparing for you and your kids Which is why, above all the Quiet Australia
Policy relies on a Quiet You Because the idea of loud firechiefs Conservationists Scientists School kids Protestors Charities Unions Broadcasters Whistleblowers Journalists Women First Nations people and YOU All joining forces to say fuck Authoritarianism,
scares the shit out of us And here at the Australien Government the last thing we want is a Prime Minister
who loses his shit Authorised by the Department of Quiet Supremacy

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