How Captain America: Civil War Should Have Ended

AH! Too Sexy!!! Captain Roll! He has a biological weapon! I’m on it! No need! I have successfully apprehended the suspect. Vision! You’re here! Of coarse I am. Why wouldn’t I be? The Avengers are dangerous. You have unlimited power and no supervision. You realize the earth was under attack right? That footage is us saving the day. People die when you “save the day”. Didn’t you guys fire a nuke at the city when the Chitauri showed up? Yeah! They did! I was there!
Exactly! Yeah what was that gonna do?
Shower New York with hugs? Be serious. We need to be put in check guys. We?! Tony, you’re the one who’s reckless! Cough! You made Ultron. Cough! Everyone else in this room…
just stopping evil The U.N. doesn’t see it that way. Well tell the U.N. Vision picked up Thor’s hammer. So we’re pretty sure we’ve been doing the right thing up to this point. I DID lift the hammer! Just stopping evil. That’s what I’m saying. What happens if we don’t sign it? Then consider yourselves retired. Ha ha ha ha!
That’s crazy! That wont last for five minutes.
Jokes are fun. He he he.
Let me help you out. Here just cross out the title. Make it say the “TONY” accords… And we’ll all sign right now. Deal. Hey! When you can do the things that I can but you don’t and then the bad things happen They happen because of you. No. That’s not it. It’s not? That’s not the line. Come on. Say it right. What line? You know. With… great power comes… great responsibility? There it is! They’re not stopping! Alright then… Web’em up. Aaaagh it’s so sticky! Hmm. Great job kid! Get to the quinjet in the hanger, Buck! We’re almost there! AHAA! I’m Gi-ANT-Man! *gasp*
Something just flew in me! Vision! Come on, man! Screams* Give me vitals! Oh he’s dead! Rhooooooodes! Don’t bull crap me, Rogers. Did you know? Yes. Tank missile! I’m sorry, Tony. I know what I did. I know I hurt you. But I want YOU to know… I’m sorry. You don’t get to be sorry! You’re right! I don’t deserve to live. Bucky that’s not true! What you did… It wasn’t you. I can speak for myself, Steve! Gah! I did those things! and I accept responsibility. But I AM sorry. *sigh*
Get’m out of there! Let’s go Nooooo! You were supposed to collapse from the inside! I was lucky enough that Stark even showed up at the same time as you to watch this video! And now you’re totally foiling my plans! Come on! Stay down. Final warning. I could do this all d.. Aaaagh! La la la la Not listening! Not listening! Can’t hear you! fingers in my ears Hands are free! Simply, I CAN’T HEAR YOOOOOOU! I’m sorry. Where you saying something? Nooooo! *captain tackle* And so… We caught Zemo… Found out he was the real person who bombed the U.N… And we NEVER went to Siberia. What was in Siberia? Oh… who knows. Yep! Whoooo knows. Well that sounds kind of anticlimactic. I was kind of hoping you guys would fight each other or something. You know! The whole “choose a side” trend. Oh we’re still split. Tony’s still assembling his team. Oh we’ve already assembled! Team Iron Man’s where it’s at, baby! Any of you jokers wanna join? We’ve even got our own Batman and Superman! I believe I would prefer to be on team… Captain America. What?! I thought you were all about the accords! Nobody is about the accords, Tony! Not even you! Yeah! You’ll sneak behind their back the second you need something without their consent. Yeah but… We’ve got Spider-Man! Mr. Stark, I’m really excited to be here but I gotta ask you a question… Are you gonna date my aunt? Because I don’t know if I’m ready for you to be my… My Dad-Uncle. Now now. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Oh Okay… My bad. Is he even old enough to vote? He’s old enough to steal that mighty shield! And you know what that means! Sooooooo Unless you’re a plane! Or a bomb! Or some ice! Or a brain washed buddy! Or a Spider-Man! Then you don’t necessarily have to yield! Please stop for the LOVE OF GOD! Huh. Never would’ve guessed. Cap hates music. What are you? Hydra or something? NO! Why would.. Why would you think that?! Well B.P. if you’re not with us, then I believe your seat is over there. This seems very childish. Yep. Move. Or you will be moved. Not a chance Cat-Man Do you know why? Why? Because I’m BATMAN! Oh my gosh! He can have my seat! This is getting too crowded anyway. Ooooooh! Thank God! I thought he was never gonna move! How long have you been there? I have seen things! Yes. I am Zemo. You’re probably wondering why I’ve brought you here. It is… not to make you fight, but… to… KISS! *smooches* Heehee

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