In the Age of Sequels, Trump Eyes the Civil War


THANK YOU VERYCH. LOTS TO TALK ABOUT. LET’S GET RIGHT INTO IT. SOME BICK IMPEACHMENT NEWS
TODAY. APPARENTLY PRESIDENT TRUMP’S
PHONE CALL WITH THE UKRAINIAN PRESIDENT WASN’T THE ONLY TIME
HE PRESSURED A FOREIGN GOVERNMENT FOR A POLITICAL
FAVOR. TODAY IT WAS REVEALED THAT TRUMP
ALSO ASKED THE AUSTRALIAN PRIME MINISTER FOR INFORMATION TO
DISCREDIT THE RUSSIA INSTIGATION. NOW HERE’S MY THOUGHT. LET’S NOT PULL AUSTRALIA INTO
THIS. (LAUGHTER)
LET’S– THER’ OUR COOL, LAID BACK FRIENDS. YOU DON’T ASK THEM TO GET
INVOLVED IN YOUR POLITICS. YOU ASK THEM TO DJ YOUR POOL
PARTY. YOU KNOW? TRUMP ASKED THE AUSTRALIAN PRIME
MINISTER FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION. THEN HE ALSO ASKED HEY, WHAT’S
THE DEAL WITH KANGAROOS. WELL, ARE THEY LIKE HORSES, ARE
THEY BIG DOGS? THEY WEAR BOXING GLOVES. EN TRUMP HEARD THAT THERE WERE
NEW REPORTS ABOUT HIM WORKING WITH A FOREIGN GOVERNMENT TO
INFLUENCE THE ELECTION, HE SAID HMMMM, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO
BE MORE SPECIFIC. WHICH GOVERNMENT AND WHICH
ELECTION. MEANWHILE PRESIDENT TRUMP IS
FEELING CORNERED BY ALL THIS IMPEACHMENT TALK, SOW LASHED OUT
THIS WEEKEN AND BY THIS MORNING, THE PRESIDENT HAD SENT
OUT MORE THAN 100 TWEETS, RIGHT? THAT IMPEACHMENT WOULD LEAD TO A
CIVIL WAR LIKE FRACTURE IN THIS COUNTRY. IT IS JUST NICE TO KNOW THAT IF
TRUMP DUZ GET IMPEACHED HE PLANS TO EXIT GRACEFULLY. A CIVIL WAR, A CIVIL WAR IN
2019. CAN YOU– CAN YOU IMAGINE THE
LESSON– LETTERS SOLDIER WAS WRITE HOME. MY DEAREST ABIGAIL, WAR IS HELL. WE WERE AMBUSHED BY A GROUP OF
TRUMP SUPPORTERS OUTSIDE OF AN OLIVE GARDEN. MY CELL PHONE DIED. I COULDN’T EVEN TWEET ABOUT IT. THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A SECOND. OVER ONE WEEK END THE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES SENT OUT MORE THAN 100 TWEETS. ORS THEY WILL SOON BE KNOWN,
EXHIBITS A THROUGH Z. BUT PERHAPS THE CRAZIEST THING
DONALD TRUMP RETWEETED THIS WEEKEND WAS A TWEET THAT CAME
FROM A PARODY ACCOUNT. APPARENTLY ST A BOT THAT HE ARE
WRITES TWEETS ABOUT TRUMP AND CHANGES THEM TO BE ABOUT SHARKS,
RIGHT. SO THE PRESIDENT ACTUALLY
RETWEETED THIS TWEET ABOUT THE QUOTE PROSHARK MEDIA. TRUMP GOT FOOLED BY A FAKE BOT
ACCOUNT. SO I GUESS IT’S TRUE, HE REALLY
DOES REPRESENT HIS SUPPORTERS. BUT HERE, THIS IS THE PHOTO THAT
IS USED BY THE ACCOUNT. LOOK AT THAT. (LAUGHTER)
SO LIKE IF YOU GET THIS STRAIGHT. TRUMP SAW THAT PHOTO, HE SAW THE
ACCOUNT NAME WHICH IS CALLED, AND THIS IS TRUE, TRUMP BUT
ABOUT SHARKS HE SAW A REFERENCE TO THE PROSHARK MEDIA AND HIS
RESPONSE WAS THIS LOCKS SERIOUS, I BETTER GET THE WORD OUT. I KNOW IT SEEMS CARELESS BUT IN
TRUMP’S DE THENS HE DOES JUST AUCTIONICALLY RETWEET ANYTHING
AS SOON AS HE SEES THE WORD GREAT WHITE. AND FINALLY WE WANTED TO TELL
BUT THIS STORY THAT HATCHED RIGHT HERE IN CALIFORNIA. ACCORDING TO A REPORT BEAR WAS
CAUGHT ON CAMERA MUNCHING ON GRAPES IN A CALIFORNIA VINEYARD. BUT HERE IS THE THING, THIS BEAR
REFUSED TO EAT ANYTHING BUT THE VINEYARD’S MOST EXPENSIVE PINOT
NOIR GRAPES. THE BEAR IS ONLY INTERESTED IN
PINOT NOIR GRAPES UNLESS THERE IS A BRUNCH ON A SUNDAY AND THEN
IT IS ROSE ALL DAY. THE BEAR HAS A HUGE APPETITE FOR
PINOT NOIR. THIS IS CRAZY. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT BEARS
HAD BOOK CLUBS. TURNS OUT THOUG IT TURNS
OUT SHALL IT TURN OUT, SEE, WE’RE LAUGHING FOR DIFFERENT
REASONS HERE. BEUSE I KNOW THE JOKE THAT IS
ABOUT TO COME. IT TURNS OUT THIS BEAR HAS BEEN
TAKING SOME OF THE GRAPES AND MANG ITS OWN WINE. AND AFTER THIS STORY IT WAS
RELEASED THAT THIS WINE THAT THE BEAR HAS RELEASED IS CALLS PINOT
GRIZZLIO. THERE IT IS!

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