Repackaging Kindness, Empathy, and Gratitude for Modern Society with Jay Shetty

Repackaging Kindness, Empathy, and Gratitude for Modern Society with Jay Shetty

– All I’m ever doing is
trying to take empathy, gratitude, kindness, positivity, optimism, and create repacking for it in modern society to help somebody see it, ’cause life is one big
game of perspective. (funky music) You have crazy beautiful eyes. (laughing) – The first time you
said that to me was like, I think it was the first time we met, and it was like one of the
most awkward things ever ’cause it was like– – Yeah, for me it was awkward.
– ‘Cause I did not expect that from Gary, it’s the last
thing I’d expect from you. – So like, but you did
nothing to make that happen. – True, I always say I
can’t take credit for them. I say that all the time. – I don’t take credit for anything I am. All my accolades, I’m like my parents, my circumstance, ooh
Soviet Russia to America, oo the ’80s, oh Jersey, oh this, oh some form of learning disability that made me shitty at school,
like oo, oo, oo, oo, oo, right, you know by the
way, not being diagnosed with a learning disability
which then either I’m right or I’m wrong,
but it doesn’t matter, I didn’t have to deal with that pressure especially in the ’80s
when it was a little bit more of like, scary than it is now. Like what if I was, what
if I did, maybe I didn’t, probably not because they would’ve caught, but like, you get into
all these circumstances. This is a big deal though. I’m sure that what I talk
about is right for me because I’m incredibly in tune with myself and I’m an incredibly good communicator in a style that hits a certain group, which helps them get the insight to create affirmation,
to create lack of fear, to try something to start the process to get to a happier place. That is a fucking blessing. – Yeah, 100%. – Now I want people to figure out that things are right for them, based on their luck, circumstance, what’s their beautiful eyes? Yes, maybe they’re not an entrepreneur because they don’t have
incredible lack of fear, but maybe that they are
incredibly compassionate, unbelievable analytical,
remarkably competitive, incredibly gorgeous, wonderfully funny, like let’s lean in to what
we’re fucking awesome about. Everybody’s spending all their
time on what they suck at. Themselves, they’re doing
that, and I promise you, everybody else is spending all their time telling you what you suck at. I’m spending all my time thinking about what I’m fucking awesome at and I’m spending all my time trying to figure out what
everybody else is awesome at. Some of it’s very obvious
like beautiful eyes. Others are like, hey
you’re a good fucking kid, keep listening to me. (funky music) I am stunned by how almost binary my judgment is completely
predicated on intent. If I believe your intent
was to be there for me, but your actions were not
that you were consistent, I’m completely unbothered and
I don’t know what that means but I’m super fucking
grateful that I have it. – Yeah, but that’s an art
and a skill that you have, and I’d like to think I’m the same where I’m able to do that
too, I’m able to let go. – What is the concept of
not having expectations? From your perspective,
because I would tell you that that may be my great superpower. – Yeah.
– You know somebody said to me, Tom Bilyeu
on my podcast said to me, “Gary, your superpower is your ability “not to judge yourself.” And I’ve been saying it a lot, and then literally on a flight this week I was like, right ’cause
I don’t judge others. Like I’m able to not judge myself ’cause I don’t judge others. A lot of people who are like– – Powerful.
– A lot of, right? So tell me, I don’t know, I’m just– – So powerful.
– What do you think? – No I love that.
– Okay. – That’s such a great point.
– How do you think about that? – That’s such a great
point, no, you’re spot on, because the reason why we judge others is because we judge ourselves, right, the opposite of what you’re saying. And so for me it’s the same thing, the reason why I don’t expect is because I see everything
as my responsibility, I see everything as my work, and I see everything else as a bonus. Like it’s just amazing that
anyone even cares about me or has time for me, or makes an effort to do something or connect
with someone or whatever it is, and that’s just a beautiful bonus of life. But I’ve gotta be in charge of it and I think that just came from many years of having expectations. I think that came from
times when I did expect, and I didn’t get, and I realized I don’t wanna feel this way anymore. – Well this gets into parenting, you know, this is the framework of what our parents are creating for us. We’re one of the most interesting things that are happening in a
lot of modern societies is we have had disproportionate prosperity over five, six, seven decades. America has had a clean run. I mean, we’ve had a couple
of recessions here and there, we’ve had a couple of
internal country scandals, we have underlying issues
of sexism and racism and things of that nature,
but in its most macro, this has been the empire,
things have been good, and what has happened is we’ve created unbelievable levels of entitlement. – Entitlement, yeah.
– Entitlement. – Entitlement. – I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s starting to consume me. It sounds crass, like never
expect anything from anyone, but I almost wanna find new ways to say it just to help people understand, it is the great gift of life. When you get into a place where
you have zero expectations and you actually don’t believe
you’re entitled to anything, you can actually start doing things. – Yes, absolutely, because otherwise that’s what’s paralyzing you. – Because you feel like
somebody else is in control. The man, the society, the government, the president, the
not-president, the governor, the mayor, the system, the
systematic infrastructure. (rhythmic exhales) – And really it’s a crutch, right? – [Gary] Of course. – Like really, it’s just a crutch, like that’s another way of saying it. – At its worst, it’s an excuse. – [Jay] Yes. – At its best, it’s a lack of perspective. (funky music) – You talk about so much
about the value of human life. – Yes.
– And how rare it is. – Yes.
– And how amazing it is. Which I don’t know if you know this, but it’s like such a deep Vedic concept which is like thousands of– – Wait, what?
– So Vedic– – What’s Vedic?
– It’s a philosophy that I studied in, it’s one
of the oldest philosophies in mankind, and one of the
biggest principles in there is about the value of human life. – Like the way I think
about 400 trillion to one? – Correct, correct. – It’s helped so many people by the way. Out of all the pieces of
content I’ve ever put out, something in it has penetrated. – How does one get, like
when I hear you say it, when I look at the way I always taught it, when I look at the monks
that I know live it, when I know people that really live that, what was it that helped
you really accept– – Gratitude.
– And live that, there we go, okay, nice. – It’s my, all I’m ever doing, is trying to take empathy,
gratitude, kindness, positivity, optimism, and
create repacking for it in modern society to help somebody see it ’cause life is one big
game of perspective. And if you’ve been raised by parents in an environment and have natural DNA that makes you look at
something upside down, I’ve gotta flip it. And when I say I got to, I have this enormous love
and need for admiration that I’ve come to realize. Admiration will not come in the form of me making the most money. Admiration will not come in any other form than if I give so much more to you than I expect from you in return. I was gifted an ability
of the gift of gab. I am creative, I understand
attention graphs, I have work ethic, I have aspirations. All of that has created one big game where I feel responsibility to be able to get this message out in a way that won’t get to people that can never become monks or that won’t become disproportionately high educated philosophical. I’m in the trenches with my style, but it’s the same fucking product. And so 400 trillion to one was one way for me to
get people to be like, do you fucking understand? There’s nothing any of us
in this room will accomplish that is even in the fucking galaxy of that we have had the
chance to do something. I just don’t understand. What are you going to complain about today that is even remotely close to never having the
ability to have a life? Like what, what are you
gonna complain about? Like what’s so shitty in your life? You’ve got the (exhales). Even if you’re the worst ranked person, 7.7th billion in the world. You’re born to slavery and genocide in a 5th world country
where you’re raped everyday, starved, slaved, lose
your parents, no love. The game of life actually still creates the rare potential for
you to break out of that and go on to do something and then bring positivity to the world, better than not being born
at all, I believe that. (funky music) – What’s the worst advice you’re
hearing out there right now that you want people to
be more thoughtful about? – Uh, all of it, because
it lacks self-awareness. It lacks pushing people into self-awareness and it lacks context. All advice right now is a problem, including all of mine, it’s why I’m trying to make it about them. There’s a lot of bad advice, brother. If somebody watches me and gets
fired up to start a business and they’re schlemiel
and can’t do a business, they’re going down a path of depression. If they’re a competitive, ambitious person but they also went to
high society education and right now the push there is balance, and like hard work is
bad, and we’ve become too much of Europe, I
believe this by the way, like that’s bad advice for somebody because they’re gonna be depressed because they leaned into current social political correctness and what they actually are is a dog and they just wanna grind. But right now grinding is bad. All advice is bad if you haven’t deployed enough love for yourself
and self-awareness to understand what to pick off. (funky music) – You have a video titled the
dumb stuff you buy owns you. – Yes.
– Which I love. – Yes.
– What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever bought? – Great question. – Because we’ve all bought
dumb stuff, you have. – My current apartment in New York City. – Ah, interesting. – It made me super not-liquid, made me miss out on investing in Uber. (laughing) You know, it’s the dumbest in literal, but it established my
family in a neighborhood that I wanted to raise it,
so it’s obviously way better, but in the second level, you know, probably the dumbest thing
that I’ve ever bought are the things that I didn’t buy. – Right, right. – Like a vacation that I should’ve taken which would’ve been a
fruitful use of time. That’s definitely it– – Yeah, the opportunity cost.
– As I’m trying to be a little bit better in
communicating regrets ’cause I can’t focus on them, but I wanna talk about them because I don’t wanna make
it seem like I’m not human, I could’ve done a lot
more balance of leisure, 14 to 30, because I worked every minute, I wish and when you start
with I wish, that is regret, I wish I had five to 10
more memories in my 20s with my high school and college friends of going on those trips
that everybody does. Like there’s a very interesting clip of me where you can really see it manifest where I talk about like I’m not lucky. Like a bunch of kids when
I first started blowing up from high school and
college would hit me up, and they’re like Gary you’re so lucky. I was like motherfucker I’m not lucky. When you went to the
Jersey Shore every weekend, I worked my ass off. It’s not necessarily what I
wanna be talking about right now and I’m trying to get the
temperature of society but it’s a very big truth,
so I would say that. The dumbest thing I ever bought were the things that
I ended up not buying. (funky music) I talk a lot about why
people aren’t capable of producing content to the world which is now the requirement as a human to achieve happiness, I
genuinely believe that. I believe taking advantage
of all of our abilities to reach out to the world
through these new channels with no friction is an
enormous gift and opportunity. The reason most can’t achieve it is ’cause they’re unable to take back the inevitable feedback that immediately comes
with the opportunity. To your point, I genuinely
believe the reason I can take the feedback
is because when I go into my Instagram post that I just posted, literally in back-to-back comments, one will say that I’m walking on water and the next will say that I’m a snake oil salesman charlatan. The fact that neither penetrate my psyche is absolutely where I’m at. – Absolutely, and that’s equanimity. Like that is that, whatever
you wanna call it, that’s yeah. – It’s the game because people want the positive reinforcement that, you know, there’s so many models
on Instagram, right, men and women, you’re so
beautiful, you look so great, you’re so beautiful, you look so great, you’re full of shit, you look fake, they’re crushed because they take too much in that you look so great. – Yes and I think that’s the point that we’re hitting on here which I love is that that overemphasis on positive, it’s what makes the
negative so hard to take. – It’s also an incredible place for me to add some clarity that I
haven’t done a good job on historically which is
something I’m thinking a lot more about, Rogov
it’s fun to see you here because we had this call yesterday, I’m like look, I’m at my worst when I’m excited in an interview and I’m drilling a headline. ‘Cause I love doing it, it’s fun, it’s showmanship, it’s
wrestling, promo videos, it’s my natural state, you know, I talk a lot about not giving a fuck about other people’s opinions. It’s also because I take the
complete opposite approach, which is every negative
piece of feedback that I get, I genuinely go into two places. A, I deploy sympathy and empathy for the person leaving the comment because inevitably
immediately on that action I know that they’re not in a good place. If you go to somebody else’s social, consume it and then spew hate, you’re not in a good place. – Nah, absolutely.
– You’re unhappy. – Yeah.
– Next, I start trying to see the insight to any truth in it. You know the second that
you’re high on your own supply, you’re vulnerable, and
so I don’t give a fuck about anybody’s opinion, ironically, I value everybody’s opinion,
I just synthesize it. And then decide to take the good from it. By deploying empathy and
sympathy to the deliverer. I’m stunned by our lack of
conversation in society right now on this part, there’s a lot of judgment and hot takes and comments, we need to judge the person
delivering the message. – Absolutely. – Like how is your mother’s opinion of you have the same weight as anonymous
54’s comment on Instagram. That is ludicrous. – Yeah, absolutely. – In the same way of, how
does a coworker’s opinion, you have to factor that in
different than your mother ’cause your mother blindly
thinks you’re the best, if you’re lucky enough to
have that mother, you know, and so it’s super fascinating, it’s just pulling from opposite directions and I think I’m pulling so
hard from opposite directions that my balance is coming in that. – Look, when I do a podcast like this knowing that you have such
a thoughtful audience, I come on knowing we
overlap in a lot of places. All I’ve been thinking about
for the first 10 minutes and all I’ll think about
for the rest of this talk is can I bring one person value? Can I add an adjective, a sentence, saying the same thing in
a different way than Jay or somebody else says that helps Karen who’s listening to this
right now on her treadmill like actually do something. There’s nothing more intoxicating than when you’re a communicator, than getting the feedback loop of somebody saying, you said something, I did something, I’m
happier now, end of story. (upbeat music)


  1. Post
    Team GaryVee

    Do you give without expectation? If no, why do you think it’s hard to give without expectation?

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    Brenton Noel San Pedro

    Good day sir! Can you give me some advice regarding of my problem? I want to transfer in a new company because im always on a long vacation. Should I transfer or not? Coz' i can't save money always spending on my vacation.

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    GARYVEE YOU THE MAAANNN, i have taken all of GARYS advice, jumped out off my comfort and now my goal is to make million! i also have started a youtube channel because off his advises and now i am on the grind to a 1000 subs, so please support me and make my dreams come true by subscribing , go checkout my channel i will be posting my first ever vlog soon so please support it and subscribe !! peace !!

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    chhaya yadav

    Its interesting Gary the 1st time I viewed a video from you on LinkedIn I could resonate with that, later the more content I consumed I got insights like what ever I am doing already is good and I am happy plus I just have to invest more years here and continue on the same path plus some new cool ways I learned to scale it up by using social media, but most importantly I now have the courage to try something completely new that may help me in making products that I always wanted to make, I am exited that I am going to learn stuff I don't care about winning or losing, it's a hobby 1st and later might be business.

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    The Best You From a Divorce

    Gary ive always respected you because you my friend are absolutely AUTHENTIC backed by TRUE knowledge and experience. You are my HERO PREACHER of AUTHENTICITY, so why the heck are you inviting this poser pretender??? WTF GARY??? :(((((

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    Groundbreak Games

    I noticed something really strange. I come to your channel EVERY DAY to see the next video, yet you are never once in my recommendations. Like not on the sidebar, nor in the landing page of youtube. I see mulligan brothers versions of your talks, your archives channel, but never this one. I have a feeling someone at youtube doesn't want you giving out all this fire info. That or somehow your algorythm is fucked up because you are NOT being suggested to me at all, despite me coming to your channel more than any other channel by far. I just thought you guys should be aware. Something isn't right.

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    Kinga Ogiegło

    I started my Youtube channel at last- I was really self-conscious but I thought of your advice and finally got the courage, loove Xxxx

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    James Hanley

    The fact that you don't feed into either extremes of positive or negative. Something I've been practicing.

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    Alex Nosky

    I disagree, it is great to have positive expectations, where most people’s downfall is they become emotionally attached to the result, doesn’t go their way they become disheartened. Have positive expectation, but just have faith whatever happens, is meant to happen. My biggest struggles in life led to my greatest growth where I can add value to others

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    William Rodrigues

    inspiration man! the 400 trillion to 1 chances really just hit. the chances of actually 'getting out' may be slim, but never more than our chance of receiving life. talk about perspective. Blessings.

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    L. Swetha Swetha

    It gives you happiness changing people's life. You expect or thrive to be happy.
    Just kidding, no ffense. I just think all of us anyway have some form of direction. Nobody has 0 expectations. Nobody. That's for sure though.

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    Patricia O.

    "Let's lean into what we are fucking awesome about!" that's what remains in my brain!!! Thank you for this strong and truthful words!!!

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    Yash Agarwal

    I love you man! You're my mentor… i hope one day i will meet you.
    Love from india.
    You're such an inspiration, learning a lot from you.

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    Kev Gambles

    Hello there, I am just starting my YouTube journey and I would really appreciate it if you could swing by my channel and check it out. Any pointers would be amazing! Thank you so much to anybody that does have a quick look. I am really grateful!

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    Rocky Rocky

    Gary, Empathy. Kindness. and Gratitude. are now apart of my daily affirmations. I deployed these 3 skills (and I say skills because it does not come natural to everyone) just yesterday during a frustrating situation at work and I cannot tell you how much clarity it brought me. I literally could could not stay upset anymore. I instantly felt better about everything related and unrelated to the situation I was upset about in the first place. You are bringing soo much fucking value to the world, I am an evangelist for your podcast and it bothers me that everyone who understands English is not consuming your fire. I get super pumped just thinking about the shit you have said. Fuck! Lol I am making moves even harder and faster after finding you a couple years ago. Peace. Love. & Happiness my friend.

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    Beyond Creative

    Such an awesome message. Read a blog post the other day about how important it is to focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses as you it makes you happier and you are more likely to kill it! Society has been telling us to focus on our weaknesses for decades now.

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    Randy Mbouge

    We should be judging the people giving the advice… That's spot on because I'm a professional keynote speaker and I'm very self aware about HOW am I delivering the message

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    Nick Garner

    Jay should have jumped in,,hell all these comments Gary should have ,,blah blah,,Gary doesn't give a fuck,, Jay is bad ass !!!if you want to hear Jay go to Jay's shit

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    Sasanka Harshan

    That really helped , i just understood that negativity is popped out of too much of positivity taken in to you

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    Bishal Sarkar: Best Public Speaking Expert in India

    For friends who are saying Gary spoke more….Well see Jay's podcast logo right top? Gary just repackaged Jay's podcast as AskGaryVee. Gary IS supposed to speak more.

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    Gabriel Sousa

    Thanks you, I have a small audience on Instagram and Whatsapp Business and i´m going to share it with them, thank you a lot for bringing value for brazillian people.

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    Sarah Eubanks

    Gary love your advice, so helpful! I followed your advice and started using Igrocket com to boost my instagram page and have nearly doubled my leads, you're the best!

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    White Melon Design

    Love it!!! We gotta focus in our awesomeness!!!!! And make it shine!! 🤩🤩🤩thanks Gary!!!!!!

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    Luis Gonzalez

    Hey #GaryVee, My Youtube Channel and my Vertical Hydroponic Microgreen business in Fl is growing thanks to buying your Auible #CRUSHINGIT You're the man big vee thanks for all the great knowledge you give out for free

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    Honest feedback.. I was hoping to hear Jay's opinions and thoughts.. as ive heard you're manyyyyyy times 😂 but still love ya!

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    Nevermind I take my comment back 😂 I didn't know the context of this .. read the comments and now know it was for Jay's podcast interviewing Gary 😂😂

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    The William Jones Show

    13:24 Someone stole Gary's lunch.
    On a serious note, I watched the hour long show. It is full of insights I intend to watch it again.
    Amazing, Brilliant, Insightful discussion from 2 positive minds making our lives better 1 day at a time.

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    mustafa adil

    1. zero expectation will make happy
    2. we overemphasis positive so that it become hard to take negative
    3. be grateful for at least being at ground level ; )

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    Niv Azarya

    I just love your way of seeing life! So simple but smart imo. Keep the content we love you 🔥🔥❤

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    Entitlement: the arrogant disregard for the ever-present magic that is everything not being blown up already.

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    Antiquity Juices

    ❤️🙏🏿 glad I came across this video. I’m totally guilty of giving with expectations, and I get let down almost every time. I’m working on it

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    Denyce Baptiste

    Gary Vee and Jay Shetty are sitting across a table from each other…. Annnnnd my fangirling meter just broke. I'm going to have to rewatch this to actually hear anything they're saying.

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    So.. I've been watching your videos from last 1.5 year and then stopped watching them because i thought i now know everything but today through an ad i ended up on this video and it was good to see that how Jay related "The value of human life" thing with our scriptures. it's kinda relatable with what Indian scriptures says and thing that i learned is that after watching so much of your content i was not at all self-aware. i knew (or maybe not) what you were saying about self-awareness all the time but i never self-realized my family situation, my economical situation and etc. it was coming to me i knew that I'm becoming self-aware and after this video my perspective getting aligned with my current situation. it actually helped. thanks man! <3

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    Nobody else is in control. Believe that you are in charge of your destiny! You are in charge, not your fears or the people around you!

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    The Story Of Some Stuff

    If I had to pinpoint one takeaway from this podcast, it would be that you could take the good from the negative by either empathizing or sympathizing with the person leaving the negative comments. Being high off of your own supply (great analogy btw lol) can be blinding and learning to use your two-part method to negative comments is something I want to use in the future. Thanks Gary!

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    I've been saying GV is a Saint and a zen master. I hear spiritual lessons in a lot of what he says. I see how some may miss it but it's DEFINITELY there. Much Love Gary!

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