The Great British Citizenship Test | Miss Holland

The Great British Citizenship Test | Miss Holland


I’m looking for a British man
to marry. OK. You want to? Um, not at the minute,
if that’s OK? Not today? Next!
Hello, I am Miss Holland. I’m from small town in Holland,
where life is a simple one. I know I am great,
but you call yourselves great, that’s why you’ve done a Brexit. So I’ve come to find out
what makes Britain so great, learn to be British
and find myself a husband. Welcome to Miss Holland Show! To be Great British is to say,
“Hear, hear,” but then we all we all come here
and they say, “No!” Very confusing. Hard Brexit, soft Brexit, hard Brexit, soft Brexit. I’m going to see which of these
British people will be allowed to stay here after
the Great British Citizenship test. Do you want to do
the citizenship test with me? Yes, go on, let’s do it.
OK. Are you British? Yes. She isn’t. Where are you from?
England. I’m from Manchester. Yeah, Manchester, England.
Is that England? How often are elections in the UK? Every three years? Every two years. No. Every year. Every three years? Incorrect. Four years, sorry.
Four years. Three years. Three years. Every eight years. When were women
given the right to vote? Oh, God. Not a clue. We should know this. 19…10? ’70s, isn’t it? Or ’80s. Years ago. ’60s? 1800s. 1979.
My sister was born then. We’re failing this test, aren’t we?
Yeah. You will not become
British citizens. Oh, OK. 1918. That is correct! Can I please speak to you because
you have beautiful ginger hair? Hello. Hello. You’re a beautiful man. I’ve been looking for a ginger
all my life. I heard that… ..ginger pubes taste like
a Crunchie. When was Nigel Farage born? Oh, God knows. I don’t know,
and I don’t care. Nigel who? Nigel Farage. Not a clue. Is that the one who owns Harrods? No. What is Theresa May’s
favourite song? Fields Of Barley. Cos she likes to
run through the fields? Yes. Yes. Cheese. What is Boris Johnson’s
favourite cake? Chocolate? Victoria sponge. Is that
actually on the citizenship test? Fruitcake. Banoffee pie. What is Theresa May’s tattoo?
London Pride? What colour are Prince Harry’s
pubes? Ginger-ish brown. Ginger. Please! Ginger man! Have you seen them? I’ve not seen
them, but Meghan has told me. Orange. How do you know?! You naughty, naughty chicken! You
have been munching on the pubes. No! I’d probably say brown.
How do you know? A British man with the ginger pubes. Watch you don’t fall over. You’re my prince. It was fantastic.
It was a pleasure to meet you. Oh, I touched him. Now I know as much as
the British do about politics. My next Britishness lesson is about
Great British religion. Hallelujah!

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    Annabelle van der Scheer

    I am from THE NETHERLANDS ('holland' is the wrong name as it just addresses two of our provinces) and this is painfull. No.

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    T. Jackson

    If a man was trying to see a red headed ladies pubes on the street like this women would demand he be fired. #equalitylol

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    laser325

    It is called Great britain because in the days of the long-forgotten Empire, the other possessions of the British government were thought of as lesser, and the home of government and the Royals was thought of as Great.

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    instantsurgery

    She was my first serious crush at School, true story. Got shot down though but seeing this makes me glad I did 😀

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