[Ryan] You guys, we just opened up the International Quarterfinals with Smash Mouth. I mean what else could we possibly do? [Joey] We could quit.
[Ryan] Well, that’s true. [Jackson] Or, or, [singing] We could either follow our instinct or take advice from every joker. We can either be distinct or windup merely mediocre. But not me, not me, no, not me. Oh, when we set out to sing this song today, we said we’d sing a song that we’d wanna hear. We knew we’d never please everyone. Remember that night in Las Vegas you said to me? You said to me (to me)? I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing. Nine people’s favorite thing than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing. Ninth favorite thing. Yeah, you’re right, Jackson, let’s not compromise. Let’s keep singing something we’ve never heard. A risk was taken with “Supercal” and there was room for The Newfangled Four last year in the ten. A special shout-out to Lemon Squeezy! Now that we’ve discovered how to crack the ten should we stop, or continue to climb up again? No don’t stop now or else we’ll end up ninth again. I’d like to think at some point some medals would look nice. I’d rather be five people’s favorite thing than a hundred people’s fifth favorite thing. Five people’s favorite thing than a hundred people’s fifth favorite thing. One, two, three, four, five, fifth favorite thing. When you handed me the first draft of this song, I’ll admit I was a little like . . . No, no, no But I’m not giving up on you guys until all of us have learned to sing in the same dang key. In the same dang key. (all sing in different keys, it sounds bad until they resolve the chord) Yeah! [Ryan] First try, thank you!
[Jake] Ugh, you do that every time! [Ryan] Oh, I nailed that one!
[Jake] You get one chord, then you go up. [Ryan] Oh, I know you guys are clapping for me. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. [Jackson begins] And who says three guys need a baritone [Jake] to sing a funny song? We’re enough with only the three of us! We’re okay with only us three. We’ll be fine with only us three. A perfect team with only us three! [Ryan, sadly] Oh [Jake] All right, come on get up. Get up.
Come on. [Ryan] You guys are meany poopy heads. [Jake] Well, we’re not wrong though. We’re excited to be in Orlando. It is time for the barbershop convention. There is a big singing contest, but we’re just here to have lots of fun! And I don’t want to sing a pretty ballad or a forgettable uptune that’s boring and square. [Jake] Nice diphthong. So we show up with pride this evening, with a suit, and Jackson’s red hair! And they try to push us aside, say we’re funny, but we’ll never win. And, sure, most of the judges reward the good singing, But one judge picks Jackson’s red hair. My gosh, look at his luscious red hair. I’d rather be (ooooo) Jackson: fifteen people’s favorite thing than fifteen people’s least favorite thing. Yeah, fifteen people’s favorite thing than fifteen people’s least favorite… [whisper-counting] [Joey] What are those ones? [Jackson] Those are the contest administrators. [Joey] Do they give us points?
[Joey] Hm. I’d rather be fifteen people’s favorite thing than fifteen people’s least favorite thing. Yeah, fifteen people’s favorite thing than fifteen people’s least favorite thing (favorite thing). So the decision’s made and we’re on our way, and we may lose or maybe we might be everyone’s favorite thing. Everyone’s favorite thing when we sing tonight. We’ll be your favorite thing tonight! Yeah! We’ll settle for fifth! [audience applause] Woo!