Hello, commissioner Oh, hello, Crow… What is the case? Oh yeah, hmm… actually there is no case right now But you are here, on the roof… I’m smoking! Well, since I’m already here… you did notice your crow sign is not on, right? Yes of course, but it could be some arson or…okay, what is the problem Commissioner? There is no problem, Crow What do you mean there’s no problem? It’s been like two months since my last case Because you haven’t solved a real case in a year and I’ve been giving you cases for a year now Do you understand how hard it is to justify to my staff that you’re taking the work of a police investigator? Wow wow wow…I haven’t solved any real case? I take the cases the police usually can’t afford to take Oh yeah, like what? Let’s see…what cases do you have there right now? There’s a serial killer murdering several people with a machine gun in the projects You see? Typical police case… next! There’s some guy blowing up buildings downtown.. He uses hand grenades as weapons and likes to set things on fire I would never take that away from the officers of Megalopolisville What else you got? There’s a guy dressed as a poodle stealing wallets in the area Bingo! There we go! That’s a case I can take How is this a case the police cannot afford to take?? Afford emotionally, who do you think is more prepared to face this guy? The Urban Crow or sergeant Williams? Sergeant Williams! Who spent four years preparing for it in the Academy! Who is a cop! Do you remember what you did to that guy that used to walk around in diapers in the park? Oh you mean Milord Big Baby? That’s not even his name! You made that up! He lost 12 teeth, Crow! And he was only in his underwear in a park on drugs and drooling I don’t think I follow… Can you maybe not look for cases that are related to people with mental problems? The last guy you beat up was a ventriloquist… Yes, but the puppet was actually a mobster He has a tiny machine gun and a
scar on his face…on the on the puppets face I mean Crow, for the love of God this little mobster had a guy’s hand shoved up his ass Well, someone had to send him back to the asylum… You understand that this is a mental asylum, right? who do you think you are Crow? Charles Bronson’s nurse? Half of them
can’t even hold their poop in their buttholes Imagine robbing a bank Well, you could have told me that before I spent two hundred and thirty thousand dollars on this outfit Can you really picture me walking into somebody’s office at 4 o’clock p.m. to arrest someone for tax evasion? Commissioner, there’s a guy with a white fuzzy costume and pink bows on his head outside the police station He’s pissing on your car and licking everyone who tries to catch him Joe and Stephen have already gone home Well, well, well this looks like another job for the Urban Crow, doesn’t it?