Wanda Sykes Plays ‘Oh, White People,’ and Reveals Her Cut Scene from ‘Us’

Wanda Sykes Plays ‘Oh, White People,’ and Reveals Her Cut Scene from ‘Us’


Thank you, Twitch. I was going to dance
with you, but you know, I’m a woman of a certain age. [LAUGHTER] That would have just put
me right to a hot flash. [LAUGHTER] But for real, it would
have been ugly, man. They would’ve had to
shut the show down. And bring out all the engineers
to try to put me back together. [LAUGHTER] It’s bad. [LAUGHTER] It’s bad. So your wife, you got a
nice, young wife, right? Yeah, yeah, she’s
definitely young. I’m gonna say that right now. All right. Wait ’til she hits
that 50, 60 mark. It’s bad, man. Really? It’s bad, I’m telling you. Thank you, Wanda. Nothing you do is
going to be cute. Really? Nothing you do is going
to be cute to her. You going to be around
there dancing, she’s like, sit your ass down. All that– Hell. [LAUGHTER] Sometimes, I wish my wife
would take up skydiving. I’m like, just go do something. [LAUGHTER] That’s what happens
when you get older, man. Everything bugs you. [LAUGHTER] But not this. I’m enjoying this. And I want to thank Ellen
for asking me to guest host. This is so sweet, yeah. [APPLAUSE] And she said I should
make myself at home. Yeah, as long as I don’t
move the chair, the couch, the table, the flowers,
this other chair. Told me don’t touch
the thermostat. So– [LAUGHTER] I’m just gonna sit here. [LAUGHTER] Not touch anything. So I’m sure you all know
Ellen has a segment called, Oh, Straight People, right? Well, here’s a segment
about a group of people I find just as confusing. It’s time for Oh, White People. [LAUGHTER] Oh, White People. [APPLAUSE] OK, so here’s how this works. I’m going to read you
a real news headline about real white people. Then I’m going to shake my
head and say, oh, white people. [LAUGHTER] Then I’ll move
onto the next one. OK? And for those of you not
familiar with me, I’m black. [LAUGHTER] So here’s the first one. Tourists posing for photo on
iceberg gets swept out to sea. [LAUGHTER] Oh, white people. [LAUGHTER] Here’s the next one. Elderly couple tells
deputies 60 pounds of pot were for Christmas presents. [LAUGHTER] Oh, white people. [LAUGHTER] Here’s the next one. Naked Florida
man– you know it’s going to be white people
soon as you say Florida. [LAUGHTER] You know that. Naked Florida man
starts house fire after baking cookies on
George Foreman grill. [LAUGHTER] Oh, naked white people. [LAUGHTER] OK, here’s the last one. Gender reveal party ends in
fight outside Applebee’s. [LAUGHTER] Say it with me, everybody. Oh, white people. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] Tune in next time, when Ellen
plays, Oh, Black People. [LAUGHTER] I dare you, Ellen. [LAUGHTER] Try it. You know, both Ellen and I
love watching fail videos on the internet. In fact, she invented a
machine called the Random Fail Generator 5,000. You know, but I love fail videos
a little more than she does. That’s why I invented the
Random Fail Generator 5,001. [LAUGHTER] OK, so if you want to
watch a random fail video, all you have to do
is press this button. All right, so let’s
give it a try. [SLOT MACHINE SOUNDS] Chef juggle. OK let’s see what this is about. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, ouch. [LAUGHTER] Boy, she’s juggling her way
right to the urgent care, huh? [LAUGHTER] OK, let’s try another one. Graduation wind. Oh, it’s gonna be good. Let’s see. [LAUGHTER] [POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE PLAYING] All right. Oh! [LAUGHTER] And look at her face. Not one went to help her. They’re just all like, dude. [LAUGHTER] I mean, I know college costs
an arm and a leg, but an eye? Good grief. [LAUGHTER] OK, let’s try another one. [SLOT MACHINE SOUNDS] Peacock selfie. [LAUGHTER] Let’s see. [MUSIC PLAYING] All right. Oh! [LAUGHTER] You didn’t ask me if
you wanted my picture. He was like– [LAUGHTER] You gotta be careful
with peacocks. You know, they’re beautiful
creatures, but mean. [LAUGHTER] Reminds me of an ex, but
that’s another story. [LAUGHTER] All right, we got one more. [SLOT MACHINE SOUNDS] Sibling stroller. Oh, boy. Let’s see. [THUD] [GASPING] [LAUGHTER] Oh, don’t worry. Look, come on, kids
are soft at that age. They bounce, trust me. But you know, I’d better put
this away before someone really gets hurt. Right. Some of you may know me from
my hilarious stand-up specials. And some of you may know
me as a great actress. But did you see the
horror movie, Us? [APPLAUSE] Did you see that? You saw that? I wasn’t in it, but
I was supposed to be. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, they cut me out. I think you know where
this is going, huh? All right, so here’s a clip. [MUSIC – LUNIZ –
“I GOT 5 ON IT”] I got five on it. That’s a classic right there. I got five on it. Messin’ with that ‘Indo weed. Oh, that’s my jam. Get in rhythm. Why don’t you turn around? We got bigger problems
than my rhythm. [LAUGHTER] There’s a family
in our driveway. It’s probably the neighbors. What, are y’all
scared of a family? I don’t know about
you, but I am. This ain’t no Madea movie. [LAUGHTER] Hi, can I help you? Can I help you? What are you? Customer service? [LAUGHTER] If you want to get
crazy, we can get crazy. Or we can just call an Uber
and get the hell out of here. [APPLAUSE] All right. We’ll be right back.

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