“White People” | Russell Peters – Notorious

“White People” | Russell Peters – Notorious


>>Russell Peters: Back in the day, when you would see a white person, you knew they where white, immediately. When I was a kid, if I saw a white person, I didn’t have to ask. If I was like, “Are you white?” They’d be like, “What the fuck else would I be?” [Laughter] But now, you need to confirm. [To audience member] What are you, sir? Are you white?>>Man: Yes.>>Russell: Even you hesitated! [Laughter] You had to go through, your own lineage! Be like, “Am uh–” [Laughter] “Apparently, I am, yes.” [Laughter] ‘Cause you’re not regular white. You got, like, hairy immigrant arms, you know what I mean? [Laughter] It’s not like– [Laughter and Clapping] [To cameraman] Get a shot of those! You get those? You’re missing the arm que, it’s right th– Oh look at that thing! Jesus! That is– [Laughter] That’s not proper white, buddy. I don’t know, that’s uh– That’s Italian, or Greek, or something. I don’t know what’s going on, there. Where are your parents from?>>Man: U.K. U.K.? Oh ok, so– Yeah, that’s pretty white. Uhm– [Laughter] That, in fact, is the benchmark. That uh– [Laughter] You are a hairy– one hairy Englishman, I’ll tell you that! [Laughter] [Laughing] “FEE-FI-FO-FUM!” [Laughter] I smell the hair, of an Englishman! [Russell laughing] [Laughter] [Russell sighs] You know why, you gotta ask nowadays? I was in, uh, Florida. You guys ever go to Florida? In the U.S.? If you go to Florida, everybody in Florida, looks like everybody in this room, until they open their mouth. Spanish, flies right out of their mouth. Like– [Laughter] Not, like, a little bit, of Spanish. Like, you could tell that that’s all their thoughts, everything they do, is in Spanish. You know you can tell? When you say, “hello,” to them, you can see your “hello,” enter their head. [Laughter] You’re like, “Hello.” and you it see go, “Hello” [Laughter] equals [Laughter] “Hola” [Laughter] [Spanish accent] RRReply with… [Laughter] [Super Spanish accent] “Hello.” [Laughter and Clapping] And you know, that their “hello,” started with a “J.” That’s the best part, you know? [Spanish accent] “Jello.” [Laughter] “It’s not just a greeting, it’s my favorite dessert.” [Laughter] It sucks, for me! I like– I like, the Spanish language, but if you go to a place, where all they do, is speak Spanish, and– and they should be, speaking English, it get’s annoying. ‘Cause they see the brown skin, they just assume something’s going on. Everywhere I go in Florida, they’re like, [In Spanish] “¡Oye, Cubano! ¡Oye!” [Imitating Spanish] [Applause] “Listen up, there, fuckin’ Fernando. I don’t want to dance, right now. [Laughter] Especially, while we’re at a gas station. This is really awkward. [Laughter] When I told the guy, I go– I’m uh– I go, “Oh– Oh, I don’t speak Spanish,” he goes, [Spanish accent; Offended ] “What kind of fuckin’ Latino, don’t speak Spanish?!” [Laughter] When I told the guy I wasn’t Latino, he reacted, like a guy, who bought a hooker, and found out it was a guy. You know what I mean? Like– [Laughter] I’m like, uh, “No, no. I’m not Latino.” [Spanish accent; Appalled] “What the FUCK, are you?!” [Laughter] Pointed at my dick, when he did it! He goes, [Spanish accent; Appalled] “What the fuck is that?!” [Laughter] I like Spanish. It just gets annoying, when everybody’s speaking it to you. [High pitched In Spanish] “¡Hola!” “¡Hola!” ¿Como estas? ¡Hola! [Laughter] I got annoyed. I– I was getting fed up. I walked into a store, I saw an Indian guy, with a turban, I got ALL excited. [Laughter] I was like, “Thank God, my people!” [Laughter] I go, “How you doing, man?” He goes, [Indian accent] “Hola.” I’m like, “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” [Laughter] Can’t speak Spanish, with Indian head motions, it doesn’t work like that! [Indian accent] ¿Que paso? [Laughter] ♪ ♪

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    Rohan Kumar Panigrahi

    I am an Indian and never actually saw anyone move their heads lile that except for a continuous nodding movent sometimes but not side to side rather front to back.

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    Renee Howard

    OMG I live in South Florida and I'm bi racial (Jewish and Black) everything he said is SUPER TRUE. Everywhere I go they swear I'm Spanish.

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    Alexandra Henderson

    Man my Mexican friends were shocked when I told someone I wasn’t Mexican. They thought the whole school year I was Mexican πŸ˜‚

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    Feather Black

    I don't get it. This guy is the archetype of everything you hated in elementary school. Stupid and cheap jokes was the reason why nobody wanted to socialize with him.
    He's stupid as it was but you changed.

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    Proton1

    Man, fuck Spanish. Ever hear a young woman speak it? It's shrill and will split your fucking eardrum in two. Even the guys speak from the front of their mouths and it's like daggers being plunged into your ear.

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    kbrigsby61

    welllll…, seein az how 'we' CAUCASIAN-malez, are tha ONLY demographic ppl are 'allowed' to disparage (uhh. i, meant "poke-fun-at") i, wuz reallly hopin tht, he'd be funny. i, didna chukl even once. sad. FAIL!!!

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    KENTOSI

    "jello, it's not just a greeting, it's also my favorite dessert" – for those that didn't get it, "jello" is how Americans say jelly. "Jelly" is how Americans say jam πŸ™‚

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    LifeLongStrong

    What a stupid routine. Italian and Greek are white. Hispanic is an ethnicity, not a race. Indeed, as Hispanics are decedents of Spaniards and the immigrants from Asia who crossed the Bearing strait, many Hispanics are white in whole or part.

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    BXZ5097 BXZ

    Peters is a funny man but my God he’s ugly… look at him closely and you’ll see. God has not blessed with with good looks. Large nose and round face and a tiny little pair of lips. It’s amazing…

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    The End of Madness

    Another failed comic who sold his soul to the culture obliterating globalist machine.

    When this is all over, there will be no more whites, blacks, asians… only slave consumers with no identities or cultures other than those of the Mega corporations who own them.

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    Trumpty Dumpty

    I don't understand why some and I mean very few get shocked by Spanish. America was discovered and owned by the Spaniards 100 years before the English decided to come here. Spanish was the main language for a long time. A lot of the states still have the Spanish names. California, Texas, san Francisco, florida, Sacramento and many more that I cant remember.

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    Zeth Bloom

    This guys comedy is great but no matter where he goes….He's..Indian…His face and skin color say it all …an Indian who speaks good english….he might be US born but still an Indian……glad he takes that with humor🀣🀣🀣…Great comedy tho

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    Random Curry Puff

    As a Thai Chinese I don’t know what he’s talking about. Most white men ARE hairy compared to East Asians and some Southeast Asians.

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    Malcolm Nadeau

    Man, this is sooooooo outrageously racist. I was imagining a white man doing this act. I think everyone in the audience would shit their pants waiting for something terrible to happen.
    All because of his skin color, he's got a golden ticket to make fun of other races… not even just his own (stupid non-racism against your own… game). Pretty sick.

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    Jesse Ling

    Fun fact;Britain and the UK are made up primarily of Roman blood,which mixed with all the people's of other nations they went to and brought back. So even if youre UK dont worry,most people there are some weird mix too

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    Javy Perez

    Rule number 1. NEVER sit on the first couple of rows on a Russell Peters show unless you have a really good set of cojones

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    Nill Seven

    Yo I’m white and I think Russell is hilarious πŸ˜† I don’t mind people making fun and generalizing is funny ways that seem kinda resonant tbh better than people that bottle shit up and go crazy for real. Like pls chillax

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